10 Leadership Lessons...so far - #5: Shepherding vs. Sheep dogging

In my last leadership lesson I shared a story at the end. I told you that story to help you see the principle of washing feet, but I want you to know that it wasn't always like that for me. Knowing how to wash feet or how to lead people effectively did not come easily for me. For every one story like that there were several that were very unlike that, full of mess and mistakes, re-conversations and bumpy roads to hopefully better ministry. Such is leadership, right? We fail as humans and press into the One Who never fails as He teaches us His way. Washing feet and leading others in ministry are things I still have to work at and areas where God is still faithfully teaching me.

 

About ten years ago someone finally named a part of my gifting: shepherding. I had a very limited understanding of spiritual gifts and thought, that of the ones I knew about, I just didn't fit well. Along came shepherding and so much about how God had made my new creation made a lot more sense! I was given a chance to explore shepherding more fully when God gave me a growing responsibility within an organization of people, about people, for people. Here's what I learned.

 

As a leader, you are a shepherd. Remember, we don't get to disengage and just lead. I recently saw multiple posts on facebook with a picture that showed the difference between a boss and a leader. It looked Egyptian, and in the first picture the boss is sitting at a desk pointing ahead. The desk is on top of a flat being pulled by the minions that work for the boss. In the picture below it, the boss is titled leader and is at the head of the group pulling the weight of the flat with his people pulling behind him. He is still pointing ahead, but you clearly see the difference. Just like our Good Shepherd in John 10, we are leading and should be calling our people to follow, pointing the way.

 

Through simple logic, if you are a shepherd, God has given you sheep. You have a job to lead and care for your sheep, and by the design of this relationship, they should follow your lead. You are leading them to new places, better places, greener places; you desire good for them and for the people they are impacting or for the mission and vision they are realizing. They have their faces in the fields of your ministry and could tell you a ton about the feasting and the dirt associated with ministry. They know you and you know them. You are on a journey together. There are several facets of shepherding, but one stands out to me here.

As a shepherd, often you are giving the call to your people to move. I know as leaders, we don't stop long. Ministry is always moving. I am so thankful Christ showed us that in His own ministry. He stopped and stayed to complete the work the Father had given Him to do (Jn. 17:4, Mk. 1:38-39), and then He moved. When it’s time to go to better, greener places, how are you issuing that call to them? How are you communicating the better, greener place and what it’s going to take to get there? If "people speak" isn't you (I have been known to speak that fast and fluent), then how are you presenting your goals?  How are you getting your people to see your vision, invest in the mission, and move with you? Sheep are known for wanting to stay put until they have ravaged a field and pulled the grass up by the roots. Then they stand there bleating with a belly full of gross stuff, wondering who will feed them here. Here is no longer the answer to their hunger. We all have to move, shepherd and sheep, so how do we go together?

 

As a new leader, I was passionate about our goals, all of them. In every area I desired for all of us to have excellence so we could make one outstanding Christ-centered ministry. I felt the reality and pressure of our goals, and I was hungry to move people to a place where they would feel heart and soul engaged in meeting those goals. Surely that would result in our mission and vision exploding! Yes…but there was one problem. Not all my people were interested in those goals or even in following me there. I recall an email I wrote to my people when I had finished reviewing our results for the month. The picture was not pretty, and action was needed on the part of everyone, but mostly them. (I kid!) In my mind I affectionately termed it the “Get it done” email. I think the subject line was “A hard email to write—response required.” I covered everything from their original offer letters, their current commitment to their roles, the heart of our mission, the numbers achieved and a trend report for visual clarity, how they submitted their detailed "TPS reports", and maybe I addressed someone's kitchen sink. You can imagine after reading that how everyone wanted to run into the arms of Jesus, confess all their issues that had deeply contributed to these lackluster results, and rush forward into ministry with a freshly painted banner that read, “‘A Hard Email to Write’ – Ginny Changed My Ministry!” That’s what I imagined. Looking back, I imagine they ran into the arms of Jesus for an entirely different reason. I'll bet they were ready to paint a different banner of ministry that would have been very easy for them to write and difficult for me to look at. No, my email did little to move my people to heart and soul engagement in our goals. And they were good goals.

That's when I learned the dark, flesh-side of shepherding: sheep dogging. I came across this concept in Dallas Willard's book Hearing God. According to Willard, sheep dogs know exactly where they want the sheep to go and they will bark, bite, chase, and corral them to get them there. "Sheep dogging" is manipulating people to a pre-determined outcome, only speaking half-truths with niceness but not being transparent or clear, emotionally standing back, allowing only the circumstances and facts to speak without listening or prior real investment in real people, neglecting details to soften a truth, and/or using authority to force an outcome without tending to the relationship. It can even be biting with anger, tone, and attitude. Sheep dogging sees a goal and tends only to the sheep so far as they will cooperate in moving towards the goal. The movement and goal are the point, not the people. What's hard to admit is when you love people and are for people, and yet you have sheep dogged people. Oh but the pressure of ministry! I have felt it. I have been the nicest sheep dog ever...with titanium tipped teeth and the swiftest moves in the tri-state area. Oh the pressure of ministry!! Can I counter that? Oh the Presence of The Shepherd.

Shepherding is different. It is leading people in a right path to take them to a right place in their best interest. Sounds like sheep dogging except shepherds lead and guide with tools and vision, always looking to their Good Shepherd to guide them; they don't manipulate or bite. We see this nestled in Psalm 23. (If you want an excellent book on this, I highly recommend A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 by W. Phillip Keller.) Shepherds take responsibility to nurture, model, and establish trust and confidence through relationships. With sheep in ministry who are called by Jesus to serve Him and others, it is your job as a shepherd to show them how movement or goals are the greener pasture, why it’s a better place, and how Jesus and people are on the path as well as in the results. Your sheep want you to tell them why they are making the move or working towards this new facet of mission and how it reflects the heart of their calling and Savior.

Are you feeling a big "ughhh" inside? That sounds like a lot of work and time away from important meetings/email and emotional connecting and spiritually investing and blah, blah, blah to get to where we need to go now. You feel a sense of urgency and want to create an action plan. I get it. Remember, I know the pressures of ministry. Urgency and action - that’s good. Before you map your new team action items, remember that while you see a need to act, you are shepherding sheep. You may need to balance your own fresh energy to move or meet a goal with the fact that you are going to have to bring your people up to speed and engage them in a Christ-led journey to meeting that goal. If you press and don’t fully consider people, you may be in for a much longer journey. Sheep are quite an unruly, obstinate bunch. That's why we're referred to as sheep by God. Recall in your life who has invested in you as a sheep and shepherded you. Now consider who has sheep dogged you. What's the difference in those experiences?

My point and heart with shepherding vs. sheep dogging ultimately comes down to this: We don’t move people. People don’t move people. Jesus moves people. All our efforts in the world may inspire or even scare people into temporarily moving, but it’s not lasting change with internal transformation that expresses itself with greater faith, love and action on the outside. Only Jesus can do that. As a shepherd, you will never move your sheep. You must look to the One Who called them, follow Him and use His words to call His sheep. Think again about John 10. Jesus says that His sheep know His voice, know Him, and follow Him. As their anointed, appointed shepherd for this season, you must use His words so that His sheep will hear His voice and you can all follow Him to better, greener places together.

 

So, consider the following questions as a shepherd with sheep:

• What gifts do I see in these people, just as they are? Ask God to reveal to you why these people in this place for this season. He is at work in these sheep. What's He doing in them and through them right now individually? As a team? If you don't know that answer, this is your starting point. Know your sheep and how He is shepherding them with His voice, leading, and nearness.
• Where is Christ in this? What does He say?
• How have I led in this so far? Would my people agree with my assessment of my leadership here?
• How have I prayed for my sheep in this? For myself?
• Where do I need to build into relationships (serve and wash feet) so that I can lead?
• Consider what you know about the character of God and His Word. Where do I see my desired movement or goal reflected in scripture and/or in Him?
• What’s eternal in what I want to do or in the journey to get to where I want to go?
• How does moving or meeting these goals reflect Jesus and people? What’s glorious about Jesus in this goal and the path to meeting it? What about this journey and the goal embrace people?
• How can I skillfully and rightly take the word of God (which really is The Word, Jesus) and use it to call my people to go with Him and me?
• What will my sheep need with this? How will I serve them and keep pointing them to Christ while I pull the weight of this ministry with them? 

 

I learned some really hard lessons along the way from sheep dogging to shepherding. And movement is just one facet of shepherding! When I chose His way of shepherding, He never failed to care for His sheep, including me. And we never failed to reach His new place for us, even if the road felt like the valley of death at times. He is indeed the Good Shepherd. Will you follow Him?

 

Just another seed of my faith,

 

Ginny

 

10 Leadership Lessons...so far - #4: Great leaders wash feet

I have a conviction that I believe is shared amongst most leaders. Great leaders serve. I think we have all seen leaders that don't serve.  They often expect to be served or feel the need to be free of serving so they can lead. In an extreme, they are at the top, and it seems that people must speak their language, cater to their whims, and absorb the shock wave of their misaligned decisions. They may forget the real vision, mission, and the people God has given them to care for and carry all this out, and the consequences are costly.

Jesus says real leaders, great leaders, serve. It's in line with His other teachings of the first are last, the greatest are least -- leaders are servants.  How do we serve as leaders? What difference can this make in our mission and in our people?

I recall a time when I realized that ministry was going to be messy. You may laugh, but I must have missed most of the Gospels and Jesus’ interaction with His disciples, or Paul’s leadership in the churches. There is nothing but ups and downs, messes and rescues, lessons on lessons. But, I’m not much for messy. I have always loved a good clean home, smelling of Pledge and bleach and Yankee Candles, with a faint scent of clean laundry, because it’s all been put away. Surely if you led really well, ministry could be a “clean house” that everyone enjoyed. Jesus in John 13 shows us that ministry and leading well is about ultimate service and getting really dirty.

I invite you to read Jn. 13:1-7 and then consider the following.

Jesus shows us that ministry means you love deeply. God had chosen those twelve men to be Jesus’ disciples. He loved them and He felt that they belonged to Him. They were His own. And He showed them the full extent of His love. The same is true for us. Who has God given you to lead this season? How are you loving them? What would it look like to show them the full extent of your love?

Jesus shows us that leaders in ministry that are compelled by love wash feet. They serve those that God has given to them. It takes love and puts it into action. True leaders serve.  

 

Jesus shows us that leaders, knowing the place God has given them, anointed for this season for these people, in Christ as He was in the Father, are comfortable taking on the lowest, basest form of service: washing feet. The servants who washed feet in Jesus’ day were the lowest slaves. They had the dirtiest, lowest job touching people’s feet and cleaning them. It was a messy work with taking road-worn shoes off and caring for all kinds of feet. They splashed water on them, making the dirt of that day’s life and journey into a splishing mud that got all over them as it was cleaned from the one they were serving. The newly cleaned feet were dried and cared for, clean and ready for those next steps that person would take. The slave was left covered in someone else’s dirt and mud.

For us when we wash feet, we serve those we love with humility, sincerity, intimacy, and vulnerability. Just like Christ did in wrapping a towel around His waist (v.4), we are told in 1 Pet. 5:5 to clothe ourselves with humility towards one another. The Greek word picture is like a slave’s apron wrapped around us, closest to our most intimate selves where no one else can see it. No glory, no recognition from the world or even from those we serve. Are we such servants that our service reaches to the innermost parts of who we are as leaders? Are we ok if we never get recognized for our humble service? Is there a situation, decision, or relationship that you are not approaching with full humility?

Like Christ, you serve those you love with sincerity, because who can fake a slave’s apron, or posture, or attitude? And you have to be sincere to serve those you love with intimacy as you uncover their feet and your hands address the dirt of someone else’s journey. You are the one who approaches their ministry worn shoes and takes time to take them off. You will do this with a variety of feet that have traveled a variety of ministry places. And as you pour Jesus-as-the-center, scripture, love, listening, truth, encouragement, help, comfort, and better vision on their feet, their ministry mud will get all over you. Are you being sincere in your care of your people and your mission, or are you expecting people to shape up and get with the program? Have you taken time to touch others, examine the dirt of your ministry that they have trod, and pour something refreshing, healing, and needed over their journey?

You serve those you love with vulnerability. Like Christ, you will be vulnerable as you get on your hands and knees, willing to touch the messiness of life and ministry. It’s a posture of bowing, getting near and close to a part of them not many people become acquainted with. They will feel vulnerable, like Peter did, as you wash the feet of those that have never been loved that way, who were not ready for the fullness of that service today, and whose feet are unprepared—feeling just a little too messy or dirty or unkempt. Yet you touch, wash, serve, love. Who couldn’t use the touch of the Savior in the midst of the journey in ministry?! Are you being vulnerable or distant and running ahead? Are you here, present in the moment, knowing those who serve under your leadership and really getting in o ministry with them? Are you ready for everyone to get a bit uncomfortable? (My friend Lindsay says that ministry is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.)

And one more thought; you realize He washed Judas’ feet too? Even though He knew the outcome of that relationship, He still showed Judas the full extent of His love with humility, sincerity, intimacy, and vulnerability. We may not have Judas’ among those we are serving, but there are people that are hard to serve. I mean hard. to. serve. Look to Christ. He understands and He calls you to His way, even with the Judas’ of life.

When you have finished, you will dry their ministry feet that you have loved and cared for so that they can be ready for the next steps they will take in ministry, with you. You may look down and notice your ministry apron is very dirty. You can rejoice and take it to Christ, the consummate Clean One Who took on our dirt too. For leaders, here's the gospel: we can take on their dirt of ministry, even awful dirt, knowing that Christ, Who was spotless, took on our sin. And He took it on when we were not with Him or for Him, but against Him. Surely, then, we can wash the feet of our own brothers and sisters who are with us and for us and in Christ too. As we follow His example in love and feet washing, we will find deep resonance with our own Savior and true joy as we are fellowshipping with Him in the very things He did.

Christ shared a blessing with those men who were then ready for next steps in ministry. He said, “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you should also wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you…Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” (v. 14-15, 17) Who doesn’t want the ultimate blessing promised by Christ Himself that if we know these things and do them, we will be blessed? What’s the blessing? Jesus invites us to grab a towel and some water and find out.

It doesn’t feel like the world’s brand of leadership with accolades, glory, and being served. Good thing, because it’s not. It’s the better way. And it blesses and changes those you serve. After washing their feet, that’s when Jesus gives them the new command: Love one another because this will show you belong to Me and this will reflect Me to the world. What’s interesting is that whenever we as leaders are compelled by love to serve and wash feet, those we touch go and do likewise. We follow Christ’s example and in turn, they do as He and we have done. If we want to reflect Christ to the world it will be by being leaders that show the full extent of our love by washing feet.

Want to hear a story? Ok, a quick story. I remember once there was someone I was leading, and it happened that I was inserted as a leader right into the midst of their chaos. When I listened and began to uncover what was going on, I realized that while they were experiencing some trials of their own, they were definitely adding fuel to the fire. They were being demanding, suspicious, unwilling to make peace, unwilling to go the second mile, harsh, non-communicative, and arrogant. The other side of the chaos was just as faulty and messy. Having learned along the way that leaders are servants, by God's grace movement in my own soul, I tied on my apron, expecting to get very dirty. Dirty I got. I took time to untie those ministry sandals by listening and asking questions I was pretty sure I knew the answer to, but he needed to be heard. He needed to communicate. Washing his feet meant I listened to some pretty ridiculous and irrational things, but I responded with "I hear you. I see. I can understand that feeling. I get that more clearly now. I receive that from you." Water, water, water. I invited him to settle in and share. I asked about the ministry that was still happening to God's glory, and he shared the story. We rejoiced! I asked where Christ had been at work in his life, and he shared. We affirmed and praised Christ's good work. Then I asked, as I handled those weary feet, what Christ's humility in him would look like in this situation. The vulnerability required in that response caused him to almost "take his feet out of the water." But, he responded, and in sincerity and vulnerability of my own, I helped shape his response. An hour and forty minutes later, he walked away, with clean feet, ready for new steps in ministry. I was covered in ministry mud, and totally overwhelmed at how Christ showed up. I stood there filthy, rejoicing in Christ, and reveling in peace. Blessing abounded. I did this because Christ loved me, washed me clean, gave the example, and I had had other leaders wash my own feet. 

 

As you consider your own leadership and the people God has given you to love, you might pray for them. 

Some you will need to ask God what their dirt is or how to serve them.

Some you will need to ask God what the water looks like. How do you wash away the ministry dirt?

Some you will need to ask God for His heart, for they are your Judas'.

Some you will need to praise God for, because His blessing is apparent after you have served and served them.

Some you will need to praise God for because they are washing others feet and Christ is being reflected to the world.

Just another seed of my faith,

Ginny

Praying Over Your Home Room by Room

When you move into a new place, or when you have had changes or circumstances happen in your home, you may feel a stirring inside you that you should pray over it. What does that look like?

 

Honestly, we began doing this when we lived in apartments because we had no idea who had lived there before or what had happened in that apartment before us. We wanted to be sure that nothing spiritual that was not of God was left lingering in there as we moved in. We have grown in our faith walk with Christ and believe now that not only can you usher out the "old," but you can also invite a spirit of grace, hospitality, and purpose into your home along with your boxes and furniture. As a note, we have also prayed to usher sickness and bad influences out of our home. God has been faithful to answer those prayers with a "yes," and we have seen healing and felt the sweet relief of restored purity in our home as a result of His answer to our prayer. What I share here is our experience in praying over our home when we move-in. It's my hope that this helps you know not only "how-to" pray but scripture to use as you pray.

 

The heart-approach

To consecrate means to make or declare sacred; set apart, to devote to some purpose. Other words that you might use are dedicate or bless. When you pray over your home, you are saying as a couple, family, or roommates...

"We stand firmly before the Lord and in agreement with each other that this home belongs to the LORD. It is for His purpose, and we dedicate this whole house to His service."

Those aren't just words you speak so that your house is magically fit for move-in and safe, unscary living; that's a declaration of a way you plan to live in His grace and follow His ways. I firmly believe that you cannot say that and then have things in your heart, attitude, and hands that tell a different story. What you bring into or allow into your home must match up with the prayers you will pray over your home. So really, you are not just consecrating your home, you are consecrating yourselves. God will do amazing things among us when we consecrate ourselves to Him! (Josh. 3:5)

 

Getting ready

I believe that because what we are praying about is spiritual, we should be certain we don't go into it without being prepared and covered. God tells us in Ephesians that we don't struggle against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Eph. 6:12) Since you don't know who has lived in or what has been invited into your home before you (even if it's new!), you'd hate to go into battle unarmed and naked. God has allowed us to be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power against those things, but it requires His full armor. (v. 10, 13)

Here's how I put on the armor of God before we pray over our home. If the part of the armor that I am putting on does not line up with how I am living, I confess it right then and there. Consider how He is leading you put on His armor.

"God, You have given us this ground, this home. We desire to stand on it and live in it. (v. 13) God, we do not know who has lived here, what has happened here, or what we are coming into in praying over our home, so we need YOU. We need Your protection, and Your full armor. God, we stand firm, as Your children, and choose to put on...

• the belt of truth; may truth be at the core of who were are. May truth hold all of our armor together. We agree that You desire truth in our innermost parts. (Ps. 51: 6)
 
• the breastplate of righteousness; may Your righteousness cover the most vital parts of who we are. Because of the gospel, we have Your righteousness. (2 Cor. 5:21) Now may Your righteousness cover our hearts and every breath we take.
 
• the feet that are fitted with the readiness of the gospel of peace; God, as we stand, may we remember we stand on this ground firmly because of Your victory in Jesus Christ on the cross. We are now at peace with You because of the gospel. (Ro. 5:1-2) May we be ready to both stand and fight, knowing we have victory in You. No one can take this territory from You or us because of Christ!

God, we take up the shield of faith that says: You are Who You say You are, You can do what You say You can do, we are who You say we are, we can do all things through Christ Who gives us strength, and God's Word is alive and active in us. (Beth Moore, Believing God) Satan's fiery arrows cannot penetrate or stay aflame with that shield that covers us fully! God, we receive the helmet of salvation. Protect our minds. Cover the part of us that gives life, since because of salvation we now have Life in You. May we not forget that.

Finally God, we take the sword of the Spirit. It's a short sword, so we know the battle will come close, but we know it's a double-edged sword. (Heb. 4:12) God, we will use Your Words, which are power, to do battle in this place. You spoke creation into existence, we believe fully that Your words will conquer and will rule over anything that is in this place that is not of You. In the power and Name of Jesus, Amen."

While you can do this as a couple, family, or roommates, we have had a great experience having our pastor and his family come over and pray with us. Consider a pastor, friend you respect because of their authentic walk with Christ, or some believers you love with whom you know you'll be sharing your home and have them come pray with you. There are no professional "pray-ers" just ordinary saints that love Jesus with you and feel confident coming before the throne of God with you. (Heb. 4:16)

 

Praying Room by Room

We start at the front of the house and work our way to the back. We lay our hands on the walls or doorways or furniture, and sometimes we hold hands. I have heard a story of a couple that planted small stakes (they were chopsticks!) at the four corners of their property and marked off God's territory and prayed that way as well. Some of our friends anoint the doorways and walls with oil. Together, inside and out, however God leads!

For each room, we think of all the things that will happen there. What do we desire for these rooms or the people that live in them? What would God's way be for this space? How will Christ be at the center of this room and what happens here? Then we pray over those things. Ask God to show you scripture and more word themes specific to your home. I want to encourage you that we pray very candidly with our Holy God, so you will see that in our prayers. Be bold and candid too: it's your home! Get personal!

Doorway

God, this is Your home. You commanded Your people a long time ago, to hear that You are God, You are it, fully God, the only One. You told them to write Your worship and Your ways on their doorways. Your worship and Your ways begin with loving You. May our home be one of loving the LORD our God with our all heart and with all our soul and with all our strength. God, may this home be a place where we impress on our children Your love and ways and worship of You only. May our home be filled of talk of You. As we go throughout our day, may we worship and love You along the way. May our rooms, our getting up and laying down, be all about You. This is a huge request, but You are a huge God. You are LORD. This is Your home. Be here, O God. (Deut. 6:4-9)

 

Front Entryway

Father, we humbly invite Your Spirit in to dwell in this place. Fill it up! Welcome, Spirit! We ask that as You come in and fill this place that others would feel welcomed too. We pray that this is a place where our neighbors would feel invited in, and that we be wise and make the most of every opportunity with them. May this entryway into our home be one of hope, gentleness, and respect towards our neighbors, rooted in the gospel. May it be a place where our brothers and sisters enter in and because of Christ feel hospitality and know Your goodness. (Eph. 5:15-16, 1 Pet. 3:15, Gal. 6:10, Ro. 12:13)

Kitchen

O God, what a place! So often this will be the center of our home. People will gather here the most. Father, we thank You and trust You for the basic provision of our needs here. May we never lack gratitude for how You provide. You are generous, and by Your extravagant grace in Christ we have so much! (Phil. 4:19) May we remember as we eat that You give us hunger each day to remind us that You meet all our needs, physically and spiritually. You fill us to the full! Father, we eat and drink and we celebrate in this place. You call that good! (Ecc. 2:24) May our celebrating always be unto You, because of You, and for Your glory. (1 Cor. 10:31) May we be together with others in this room with glad and sincere hearts, praising You. May we feast on Your love! (Acts 2:46-47, Eph. 3:18-19) May the meals we make in this place serve our friends. May our table, just like Yours, be one of grace. (Matt. 26:26-28) May we be known for our hospitality that comes without grumbling because we love each other deeply. (1 Pet. 4:9).

Living Room

Lord, this room, by its name, has life in it. You have called us to live a life worthy of the calling we have received. May we, because You have called us Yours in Christ, be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. May we make every effort in this home to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Eph. 4:2-3) May we choose life, and that life looks like loving the LORD our God, listening to His voice, and holding fast to Him. You are our LIFE! (Deut. 30:19-20). God, may the things we find entertaining reflect Your heart and the lives You have called us to because of the gospel. May we choose to guard our hearts and our eyes and prayerfully consider with You in this room what would glorify You. May the things we choose be good in Your sight, and may nothing in this room or from the media we use become a stronghold in our lives. God, this is where our family spends a lot of time. Savior, may we put down the media, the phones and iThings, thoughts of work and life, and truly connect with one another here. Show us Your way and how to worship You here, since this is where we sit in our home. (Deut. 6:7) LORD God, set apart our hearts and the hearts of our children, so that we will love You with all our hearts and with all our souls and live! (Deut. 30:6)

Office
Lord, we work here and we organize our lives here. May the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands for us; yes, establish the work of our hands. (Ps. 90:17) May what we do here have integrity; may You uphold us in that. You see everything, and our work and integrity are in Your presence here. (Ps. 41:12) God, as we work may we remember that because of Your grace we are Your workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which You've prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph. 2:10) As we organize the life that You have given us, may we do Your will each day and be an instrument in Your hands of Your Kingdom coming. (Matt. 6:10) A few things happen here that we want to commit to You. One, the computer is in here. May nothing come through our computer and into our hearts and minds that is not of You, including pornography. May we have clean hands and hearts. (Ps. 24:4) And another thing, God, may our finances reflect the gospel.Everything comes from You, and we have given You only what comes from Your hand. (1 Chr. 29:14) Because You have blessed us and been generous in grace, may we be a blessing. May we so know our friends and neighbors so well that we know their needs and can bless them! (Acts 2:44-45)

Bedrooms
We want our bedrooms to be a place of rest. Because of You alone, can we lie down and sleep in peace. (Ps. 4:8) We praise You that while our rooms feel private, You are there. You have searched us and know us. You know when we sit and when we rise; You perceive our thoughts from afar. You discern our going out and our lying down; You are familiar with all our ways. You tuck or hem us in behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon us. This is more than we can even comprehend! (Ps. 139:1-6) Thank You! [Pray specific prayers for the rooms. For your room if you are married, consider things such as retreat, love, purity, oneness, a marriage that reflects Christ and the Church, etc. If you have kids, pray for their rooms personally as well. This may include rest, sharing a room well, protection, knowing Christ as Savior, purity, truth, etc. Stormie Omartian has prayer books about praying for your for husband/wife or kids. They are great resources!]

Bathrooms

God, we stand in a place that represents our true selves, the vulnerable self we see in the mirror. May we perceive the beauty that You see in us and that You are shaping in us. May we honor You as Lord. (Ps. 45:11) May we be thankful for all the seasons of self and health. Since this is the place where we get ready for the day, may we be ready and willing to do Your will. Show us Your ways, O LORD, and teach us Your paths. (Ps. 25:4) And we ask that You would grant us a willing spirit to sustain us. (Ps. 51:12) [Pray specific things in here such as personal health issues, godly body image, etc. For our kids, the bathroom seems to be a place they feel scared. So we pray over their bathroom for peace and no fear, trusting that the only presence in that place is the Spirit.]

Then we head back to the front door, speaking any remaining joy and blessings that come to heart and mind along the way. Sometimes it is just short phrases of gratitude.

At the front door again, we pray this: "God, Your word says that 'unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.' (Ps. 127:1) We want to build a home here and we don't want our efforts to be in vain. Please build our house, LORD. We have chosen whom we will serve. As for us, we will serve You, the LORD. (Josh 24:15) As we serve You, we stand firmly before You and in agreement with each other that this home belongs to the LORD. It is for Your purpose, and we dedicate this whole house to Your service. We stand and say by the power of Jesus Name, nothing is allowed to dwell here but the Spirit. May this place be one of light, life, Spirit, love, and hope. This is Your home, God. In Jesus Name, Amen."

What other scriptures does this stir up for you? Maybe you have a media room or a mud room? How can you pray and declare Christ and His gospel over those rooms? What a joy and privilege it has been to pray over the homes and apartments we have lived in over the years! God has shown up and we believe fully that His Spirit has not only taken permanent residence in us because of our salvation in Jesus, but He has moved into every home as well!

Just another seed of my faith,

Ginny

10 Leadership Lessons...so far - #3: Giving Thanks in the Breaking

While I was in leadership, there was a Friday that I had carved out for prayer. There were so many things that were heavy on my mind and heart, and I needed to be intentional about taking everything to Christ.

This is a discipline that has been instilled in me as a leader and became a critical life line for me for sanity, solace, and even creativity. Choosing to take time as a leader that is a follower of Christ, and make that time for sitting with God in prayer, offers profound dividends. I have found for some of my other friends in leadership that it can be hard to do this. I believe many of us already talk to God all day long whispering heart praises, prayers erupting over circumstances and sights, and prayers intentionally spoken over needs and His response to those needs. Pausing to refocus on Him through a time that is specific for prayer takes on a whole new color of talking to Him as you walk along. It holds an even heavier weight when people follow you as you do that walking.
 

Prayer time became essential for me as a servant-leader to be able to come back to the heart of the work I was tasked by God to do in that season. It was easy to get distracted and lose my center or true-north. That time also became a place for Christ to call me back to the central truth that He is able to do immeasurably more than all I could ask or imagine if I would simply come to Him. I had a lot I was asking and imagining, so specific prayer time became my place with Jesus to pour out and be poured into. That time deeply affected my leadership and my connection to Him in those places of leading and serving. That is still true for me today.

Back to this one particular Friday...I sat down to offer Him everything. I had so much I wanted to say and that I needed. My people needed a lot too. We had growth needs, financial needs, staffing needs, and so on. Big stuff for any team and organization. But my spirit felt like if I rushed head long into the "ask," there was something I was going to miss about being with God. I felt compelled to truly thank Him first. God calls us in Philippians 4:6 to come to Him in prayer with all of our requests and personal needs, but to do it with thanksgiving. I believe that giving thanks resets our minds to what He has already accomplished and drives our hearts to a different kind of prayer and asking when we see how much He has already done. That truth was calling out to me, so I began to pray and thank Him. He had given us such a feast of abundance (Ps. 36:8). It was like a table full of plates. My reality looked like a Thanksgiving feast!

When I have prayer time I sometimes draw out my prayers. I am not artist, so it's really more words and simple shapes. I drew a table with plates and filled them in with words that expressed all that He had given me and our staff. There were things about people, provisions, relationships, new paths and new unity and so on. All things that had profoundly affected me, the team, and how we served together. All of it came from His hand. It was so rich to stop and thank Him! I could see God and praise Him! He had called me to gratitude first and I found Him to be so near and generous. He is good!

Honestly, I almost felt guilty that I had anything to bring Him and ask Him for. He had been so amazing and had done what only He could do. Yet I knew that not only had I been invited come to Him in prayer, but I had been invited to ask. Philippians 4:6 is housed in a section of scripture that are on the rigors of ministry. People, needs, conflict, hearts that are torn, minds that need reframing, a hunger for the nearness of God: those are all ministry or leadership needs. Many of those things were making my own list. I came to God, trusting that He was near and that He was eager and willing to answers my prayer just like I had seen Him do in the past. I looked out over the landscape of my needs and it felt like the story with Christ and the 5000 (Jn. 6:1-15). He was there teaching and the multitude became very needy; needy in a practical way. They were hungry. How often I felt like the disciples wondering how in the world I was going to meet the vast and varied needs of so many people. Sometimes the needs of leadership or ministry can feel like 5000 people getting hungry all at once. I ran to Jesus with all of my practical solutions, most of which, like the disciples, met no real needs at all and only disconnected people from Jesus. (Remember the disciples suggested sending them away?) In the same stroke of my prayerful pen, I told Jesus that I also felt like the boy that Andrew brought to Jesus. (Andrew was always so faithful to bring people to Jesus and then see what Jesus could do.) The boy stood and offered to Jesus what he had with everyone wondering how far it would go in the neediness of the people being served by Christ's ministry.

I had so little to offer for such needs and demands. None of it could compare to that feast of abundance that came from Christ's hands that we had celebrated earlier. Knowing that all that I have comes from His hands, I simply asked if I could tell Jesus about my five loaves and two fish. I expressed to Him all that I was bringing that might help the needs I was prayerfully identifying with Him. I had spiritual loaves, practical loaves, emotional loaves, experience loaves, and gifted fish. It wasn't in pride that I offered these things. I was terrified of that as I laid them in front of Jesus. I simply was there and knew I was partcipating in the neediness of my people and had something to offer, however little it was.

What God opened my eyes to was His hands. His hands had prepared and provided the feast of abundance. His hands had given me my daily bread as an individual and as a leader. His hands had given me my loaves and fish to offer back to Him. In the miracle of feeding the 5000 the multiplying of the loaves and fish happened in His hands. It was in the giving of thanks and then the breaking of what was offered that all the needs were met. Loaves and fish have to be broken to be shared and multiplied. The multiplication and the meeting of the needs happened in His hands.

Jesus offers the feast. He can easily feed the 5000. I must, like Christ, give thanks in the breaking. He would break every single thing I would offer in order to multiply it. I looked at my loaves and fish, the ones He had given me from His hand, and I could see the breaking. As I led and served there were places of spiritual breaking, situations where my practical suggestions were being broken. Emotionally I had seen fractures, and my experience was cracking in the midst of exponential development work. Breaking is not always bad or negative, but breaking is not necessarily easy. I was having to be broken, humbled, sacrificial, open-minded beyond my preferences and views, generous, silent, vocal, part of a team, accepting, patient in waiting, and a servant in change and newness. That's just a taste of the breaking. But God could use it to bring about something filling and glorious if I would put it all in His hands.

I sat prayerfully before the Lord and saw Him point out all the areas of breaking. He showed me that it was His hands that were doing the breaking. Not mine or anyone else's. There was no "fault" to identify in the breaking, only humble glorying that a God so good could cause such a breaking that it would multiply instead of disintegrate. How gentle and miraculous! I was drawn to thank Him for breaking what He had given me, trusting that He would meet whatever needs as He saw best to His glory through what little I offered.

Being broken by His hands. Thanks in the breaking.

Fortunately, thanks in the breaking doesn't come without a promise. He promises that He will give us everything that we need at all times (2 Cor 9:8) and that He has given us everything we need to live godly, fruitful lives (2 Pet. 1:3-9). Both of those promises are sealed in the grace that comes through Christ, the One Who was broken for me. All, everything, abundant, Jesus. So, instead of relying on my fish and loaves, even though they are part of my daily provision from Him, I must rely on the God of the feast, the God of abundance, the God of the humble and needy, the God of those being served and those serving in ministry, the God Who allowed His own Son to be broken to multiply grace, life, and sonship. I must trust Him to multiply in His hands what He has given me, miraculously, to His glory. They become in His hands a part of His miracle of provision, focusing everyone in need on Christ and His ability to meet our needs. My fish and loaves disappear in the miraculous abundance of His hands. God will gloriously match His promises of all, everything, and abundant. With some leftover!

Being broken in His hands was not an easy lesson in leadership. It is easy to recognize in the midst of need how little we can offer. It's harder to realize He wants to break us to bring His glory. His lesson for me that day in prayer was how much His hands have already done and can do when I place myself and what He has given me in them, then give thanks, and prepare to be broken.

As a leader, what are you trying to offer that you recognize is simply not enough to meet the need? Do you see areas where you are "breaking"? Would you be willing to explore with Him the needs and your loaves and fish? Would you be willing to give thanks in the breaking knowing that God has promised to give all, everything, abundance? Would you look for how He plans to use you to bring Him glory? Will you trust Him to provide not just enough to fill, but enough with leftovers?

Thanks in the breaking.

Just another seed of my faith,

Ginny

10 Leadership Lessons...so far - #2 People ARE the priority

As a person, I am a "people person." I love to be able to have long conversations, deep discussions, time together. I love relationships. I truly love people! I am energized by people! I am a "shepherd" that deeply enjoys moving with, guiding, and caring for people.

As a leader, I must also admit I really love a good box checked. I'm an achiever. I have a list, things that are priority and important. That list drives work and results and people to great things. When I get to check something off my list, I feel a true sense of accomplishment. A full list checked off? Well that's exhilarating! And then I start a new list.

The reality of great leadership is that it's all about people. I can have top priorities, grand vision, SMART goals, and a personal hard work ethic that produces results, but none of that will work without people. And more over, if the tasks and results are all I truly focus on, I will identify great people to get the job done, use those people, alienate those people, hurt those people, and lose those people. And my results? They will fall short because it takes people to make those results happen.

What I learned in leadership is that while I am a people person, my pride loves tasks. I feel a sense of accomplishment, I get things done, I see goals met and exceeded. It's about me. What Christ has called me to as a leader is to be about others. That smashes my pride. In each phase of new leadership, I have felt this tug of war inside me. I have felt a desire to really accomplish something significant, but have had a conviction deep within me that if I didn't take time to know and serve and love the people on my team, then I would miss my calling completely, and any real purpose I was supposed to have or feel would be lost on tasks. Don't get me wrong, the tasks and results were critical, and I am convinced they have eternal weight. But if I only focused on tasks or results, then I missed the true significance in leadership: the people. For great leaders, people are the priority.

Whenever I find a principle in leadership, I can always root it back to the ministry of Christ. He is the epitome of "leader." Christ was about His Father's work. Christ was singularly focused on God's purpose for His life. Christ was the God-Man on a mission. His teaching, ministry, and even His footsteps were all towards the end game: the cross. And His priority in all that on earth was people. God's heart is for people.

Consider with me two stories in the ministry of Christ that show that people were His priority. Pause for a second and remember that Christ is the Messiah, the great Rabbi, the Son of God. He has healed whole cities, taught ground breaking truths to crowds numbering in the thousands, and done miracles. Miracles! He has a following like no other leader and He has an eternal mission to accomplish perfectly in only three years. He also has a group of 12 men that He must individually and corporately disciple so that they can carry on His work. Jesus could be viewed as a high powered, busy leader.

Jesus could be viewed as a high-powered, busy leader. But His priorities looked very different than many leaders. One of my favorite stories is the Samaritan woman and Jesus in John 4. Jesus took the long way around to get where He was going. He chose to meet with a woman that was relationally off-limits to a Jewish man for several reasons. He purposefully was there when she would be there to engage her in a difficult conversation that would change her life. Jesus was about her. She was His priority. Knowing Him, truth, wholeness, and no more shame: that was His plan for her. And He enjoyed it! He was so satisfied by His encounter with her and the result of this encounter, so full from having changed a life, so satiated by doing exactly what God would have Him do in this situation, that it was like food to a starving man. His disciples came back with lunch, and His heart was so full He wasn't even hungry and wanted them to feel the same way! A single woman was His priority.

In worldly terms, this situation was time consuming, inefficient, potentially reputation damaging, outside the boundaries of normal business, small "potatoes" compared to His usual audience, uncomfortable in confrontation with a difficult personal subject matter, and there was a lunch to get to. But Jesus' priority was people, and she was His focus. The result of this "people priority" was a whole city encountering the life changing power of the Messiah. He made her a priority and when her life was changed, she shouted it from the rooftops! With no shame! They came running to meet Him, "...and because of His words, many more became believers. They said to the woman, 'We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.'" (Jn. 4:41-42)

One more: In Luke 7, Jesus was on the move with His disciples. He had just taught the Sermon on the Mount and had been traveling, healing along the way. He comes to the town of Nain and at the gate, He sees a funeral procession. He is moved with compassion for a mother who has lost her son, and immediately people are His priority. He casts off any agenda He may have had, and throws off all social and personal restraint and reaches out and touches the dead son on the stretcher. Jesus, by Jewish standards, has defiled Himself. ("The Son of God could not be defiled no matter what He touched. One day soon He would literally take on the sins of the entire world while still remaining the perfect Lamb without spot or blemish." Beth Moore, Jesus the One and Only) He couldn't help but be about her and the life of her son. He didn't care about anything but being with those people in that moment and impacting their lives. His touch and word raised the son from the dead! Those two became His priority. They were immediately on the agenda. They became the agenda! Whatever He was headed towards, this interrupted. And Jesus was all in for an interruption by people and bringing life to someone God placed in His path. The result was life for the son, a miracle for the mother, and news of God among the people spread throughout Judea and the surrounding country. Talk about results!

We as leaders, are invited to be about people. We are called to be about people. When I am submitted to His way of being about others, I see results that multiply and last. When my priority becomes the people God has placed in the care of my leadership, then I have the ability and opportunity to infuse life, shape, impact, influence, and even be an instrument for God's change in their lives. And that type of priority is so extraordinary that it always points back to Christ and His power! Those people in turn go, like the woman at the well and the people in Nain, and impact others in significant ways because I was faithful to Christ to make His priority my priority.That's eternal! That's great leadership.

So, in a 21st century setting, what does this look like? There's still the list, there's still the agenda, there's still the results to be seen. That's a reality. That may be your reality. Chances are, your results and agenda are tied to a team of people you are leading. It's most likely not you alone in this endeavour. If that's the case, then God has given you multiple "things" to steward. You feel that tug of war between people and processes, goals, results. If you will invest in your people; that means be intentional about taking time to know them, encourage them, equip them, inspire them, celebrate with them, teach them, be willing to be interrupted by them, have compassion on them, free them to try and fail and lead again and win, and serve them, then they will follow you, their leader, towards whatever processes, goals, and results are in front of you. They will trust you and work hard with you because you have made them a priority and you have made their work matter because you have shown them they matter to you and your mission.  Results will happen and goals will be met. They will grow as team members and develop as leaders, and ultimately, when they leave their season under your leadership, the investment you poured into them will multiply as they make other people their priority in new places of leadership. This is the purpose of leadership: people.What's more, you will bring life to those God has placed in your path, and like Christ, you will feel a deep sense of satisfaction and overwhelming joy, that's like food to a starving man.

I am a people person, but this prioritizing of people is not exclusively "housed in" or available only to leaders "like me." Our calling as leaders is to be about others. That's something we all can do, but only if we look to Christ to do it through us, just like He did in His ministry here on earth. When you make people your priority, that's Christ in you, and He gets the glory for the results. That delights me to no end as a leader, because that's as it should be!

We have an opportunity to lead in a way that points to Christ and have eternal results.We must simply look to Him and follow His example.

People are the priority.

Just a seed of my faith,
Ginny

10 Leadership Lessons...so far - #1: Change IS God's way

Seasons come and seasons change. And right now I am in the midst of a season change. I can say that with simplicity and confidence, but it hasn't always been that way for me. As a woman and a leader, I have learned a lot about change, and the biggest lesson is that change is God's way.

I love stability. I really enjoy when things stay the same. I am a creature of habit. I find something I like, and I keep it. I always order a #1 with cheese, no pickle, no onion and a root beer at Wendy's. I have for years. I love comfort and honestly, I hate change.

When I stepped in to leadership, things seemed to be what I would call stable. There seemed to be little change, a process and supporting document for everything we did, and a group of tenured staff members that had a rich history of serving together. We had a ton of fun and I found a comfortable place where I could find my feet in new leadership and serving, and any question I had, there was a path or a story they could bring alongside to help me in my experience. Truly, we weren't without challenges, but it seemed that we had a way of doing things and it worked well. I loved that season.

I say season, because I have learned it was just that. A season. Prior to me being there, there was change that precipitated all that stability, and those friends and leaders had had to weather that change together. That's the stuff great teams are made of, and they were a great team. The time came for a change in seasons, and I struggled. Internally, externally, emotionally, spiritually, personally, interpersonally - I struggled with change. I think in some ways we all do, so insert the details and thoughts of your own struggle with change here, even if your struggle is that you are a change junkie and people like me slow you down in enjoying change!

What God taught me along the way as I lived and led others through a series of organizational changes is this: Change is God's way. Think about it. From the moment of salvation, His promise is change. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Cor 5:17) I love it that He puts an exclamation to that. How exciting is that change! From there, all of God's work in our earthly lives - personal, loving, skillful, effective work - is to change us to look more like His Son Jesus. We are in a state of constant change with God. It's His way with us and for us. It's to our benefit that we go through change.

As I started to walk a journey of understanding change, God reminded me of something He taught me in a different season. We had been through change as a couple, having a baby and moving from Lubbock, which we had known as home, and had had a significant door shut for Chip on a career. We were left with little money, a little baby, and all of our things in storage, living with his parents. I brought my heart to my mother-in-law, who is a tender, grace-filled, godly woman, and shared my burden with her. I had the simple yet huge question of, "What do we do?" She responded to me with words of truth. "Honey, what I have learned over the years about God is this:
God is good.
God is loving.
God is faithful.
God provides.
When you don't know how to view your circumstances, those are the truths you recount and recount until you see Him move."
I hung on to that wisdom and made it my own. God carried me through that change and grew my faith with those truths.

Later, we had gotten comfortable and had deeply embraced a different season of life. We were convinced that it was so fruitful and so good, it was certainly God's will that the season continue or last. Within that season there were challenges for sure. And each time a challenge came, I ran back to those words:
God is good.
God is loving.
God is faithful.
God provides.
During that time, Chip was training with an airline and one morning was a big morning for us. The airline would reveal what city we would be based in; where we would live and from where his trips would all start and end. We were certain he would be based in Dallas. God was active and things were going so well. I was thrilled when the phone rang; I knew it was him.
I answered the phone with, "Well?"
"Ok. I have some news for you, are you ready for this?"
"Ok! What did we get?"
"San Juan, Puerto Rico," in a dead pan voice. Then there was silence.
Chip is known for his humor and I am known for my gullibility with him. I warmly scolded him.
"Chipper!"
He replied, "No, there's no punchline. I am being serious."
He began to unravel this story of anticipation he had experienced as bases were awarded to the oldest man in his training class first, all the way down to him, and a guy named Jeff, the youngest in the class.
"And the only two cities left on the board were San Juan and San Juan."
Now there was silence on my end. At that moment, faith and Jesus Himself, I am convinced, grabbed a hold of my heart and my response surprised even me.
"Well,
God is good.
God is loving.
God is faithful.
God provides.
We're in this together, I go where you go, so San Juan it is."
Chip had to get back to class, our call ended, and in that moment, I was left sitting by myself, with nothing clearly in front of me but Who God is.

Fast forward into leadership. I had to sit with a group of people I was serving and leading and shepherd them through a season of change. I was feeling it too. Change is not easy. Now I was not having to follow someone in change, but lead others in change. God added a fresh lesson to this truth I owned as we walked a journey in change. We gathered together and I shared the above story with them. Then, God laid on my heart to share this: Often times we struggle to move ahead in change because it's good here, it feels safe here, and at times, what we have experienced here has been profound. The Israelites experienced that at the foot of the mountain with God in the wilderness. And yet God had for them to move, or change, because He had something better waiting for them. For the Israelites, it was the Promised Land. They couldn't know it, know Him more, or receive it without moving, or changing. Change. then. is letting go. It's letting go of this place and this time to move or grow. God does not allow us to have anchors. We don't get to stay the same or stay here. Change is His way. So we can't hang on or lay anchor. What we must do instead is recount in the midst of change Who God is:
God is good.
God is loving.
God is faithful.
God provides.
If I hang on to this season, I have a clenched fist. If I will recount these truths, these experiences I have had with God, then one by one, it opens my hand. The last thing we have to say is, "I choose to believe this." That's the last part of letting go. That statement, that act of declaring faith, opens my hand. Once my hand is open in faith, I am free to receive what it is that the Lord has for me. If I go to Him about change and stand there with a closed fist, or even shake that closed fist at Him, I miss out on what He wants to offer me. With a hand opened in faith about Who He is, I receive what He wants to put in it instead. I'll only know the goodness of that gift, the goodness of change, if I open my hand in faith. We'll do this together, I'll go first, even though this is hard, because this is the stuff great teams are made of.

And, by God's grace, He used His ways and His words that He had taught me to shepherd us all through change after change in a season marked by change.

God is good.
God is loving.
God is faithful.
God provides.
I choose to believe this.

I am certain I said that this morning as God leads me into a new season.

No anchors, only open hands of faith, because God's way is change.

Just a seed of my faith,

Ginny

Does it really matter what Jesus thinks of me? A question I couldn't stand.

I have just finished reading John Eldredge's Beautiful Outlaw. I struggle to make it through books at times because while reading can be so encouraging, sometimes at this place in my life I would rather take a nap. But this book was intriguing to me. I like Eldredge because he is a fun mix of passionate, clear, slightly abrasive, real, and rooted in Scripture. I will say I am not quite sure I believe everything he deduces about Jesus' personality, but I find none of it concerning. God tells us we will know as we are known, so at some point that will all get cleared up in the face of Christ in front of us. It's a really great book.

One question that he poses at the end is: "At the outset of the book I asked, 'What do you think of Jesus?' Here is a very revealing way to get at the issue from another angle: What do you think Jesus thinks of you? You discover what you actually believe about Jesus when you admit what it is you believe He thinks of you." (pg. 158)

When I read that sitting on a plane, that question drove to the center of my heart. Engage that question with me for a second. You don't have the back story of the book I read, unless you've read it too, but don't let that stop you from seriously considering that.

At first, after I was able to actually regain my breath and close my opened mouth, my heart felt crushed. I moved to reinflate it with a few arguments. First of my thoughts was, "That's an awfully self-centered question." I have an issue with self-centered faith; that it's all about me and my perspective and my comfort and my position and my view of things as good and right and loving. I personally fight that all the time. That's deceit that's as old as the Garden and it will draw us away from Who God is and what He actually does and truly what He has for us in a relationship with Him. God calls us to a God-centered faith. The Bible is a story of God, my story is God's story with and in me, and Christ is the focal point of all of history, humanity, and eternity. So I agued that to know God and this Jesus that Eldredge (and I) have worked so hard to really discover means that I will not put myself at the center of that type of question. "To be honest," my heart argued, "his original question is off base as well. Does it really matter what I think of Jesus? He is Who He says He is. My thoughts may have very little to do with the reality of Christ. What if my thoughts are wrong?!" There. Take that Eldredge. I could breathe again.

Except for this nagging yet tender place inside of me that really wanted to engage that question."I am a strong woman, I love Jesus, I can be challenged and still stand firm on my feet, ok...I will go there." What do I think Jesus thinks of me? He (Eldredge) says I discover what I actually believe about Jesus when I admit what it is I believe He thinks of me.

Before I tell you what I worked through on that airplane, I invite you to consider with me why I believe this may be a very real and good question. My heart was crushed because I knew I most likely had an issue behind that question. Not with the question, but an issue that would be answered with that question. I really didn't want to go there. I didn't want to disappoint Jesus again with more unbelief. More on that in a second. It's a phenomenal question to ask because His word to us, God's story through the Bible, is full of Him calling us into relationship with Him where He tells us who we are in Him. He died on the cross so that we could be called something different. We went from enemies to sons! We went from dead to alive. We went from old and broken to new. We went from unrighteous to righteous. We went from destined for wrath to priests that are perpetually in His presence. On and on and on in His Word He tells us that because of Christ's life, death, and resurrection, we are. If you will allow me, Ephesians 1 alone tells us a TON about who I am. I am blessed, chosen, loved, adopted, redeemed, and forgiven, I am also sealed, guaranteed, and the praise of His glory. Breathe that truth and reality in!

One of the Bible studies that God used to do a hugely  transforming work in me was Believing God by Beth Moore. She puts forth, rooted in God's Word that there are 5 parts of living, active, believing faith. God is Who He says He is, God can do what He says He can do, I am Who God says I am, I can do all things through Christ, and God's Word is alive and active in me ("because I'm believing God!"). As I had argued internally, I was willing to engage those first two parts of believing faith. Did you notice it? "Does it really matter what I think of Jesus? He is Who He says He is." But unless I negate most of the New Testament that calls me to understand how to love and live in relationship to the fullness of Who He is and What He can do and has done, I have to also believe that I am Who God says I am. I think that's what Eldredge was getting at. Who does God say you are, and do you really believe it? It's a faith question that often ends up touching our feelings, and that's what it stirred my heart. It starts by asking the question: What do you think Jesus thinks of you?

So, here is how I answered this personally: My heart offered this to Jesus with total trepidation mixed with reality and shame.(The shame right away should have been a flag. It's a fingerprint of the evil one's work.) I think that Jesus expects more of me and often I have not delivered. He has set so much in front of me and has equipped me with so much: salvation, His Spirit, His word, gifts, passion, opportunities, American life, time, people around me. And so inlight of all those things, He has simply expected more out of my life and I have not delivered it. I think He has saved me and has to love me because that's Who He is, but really I just cease to fully deliver or meet the expectation out of what He has so grandly given me. My heart bled on that airplane. I project that feeling into so much of my life. At work I feel as though I never deliver what I truly could, and others work harder and deliver so much  more and I feel that lack of full potential and team playing. At home I feel as though I can never fully be the mom that I should be and that my kids don't know that fully now but they will struggle later because of it. I feel as though I can't be the wife Chip needs because I am going in a thousand different directions and that whole wife thing could always be better. And so it goes with every area of my life. The expectations of me were great, and I have simply not measured up. Not to Jesus and not to others. Oh, there's forgiveness, but there's still a lacking in me. He knows it and has a holy God type of disappointment in it. That's what I thought Jesus thought of me.

On to the statement he makes after that: "You discover what you actually believe about Jesus when you admit what it is you believe He thinks of you." I took that next step. I believed that Jesus was supposed to love me but the expectations of me were great and I have not measured up. In essence I believed that as a follower of His, He has set a bar I am supposed to meet. I believed that He is Savior and will forgive me, and even love me, but He thinks of me in terms of His opportunities He's given to me and my abilities. And most of that is a lie. I have carried around a significant, crippling, long time weight because I believed that He had to be true to His Word, but His feelings about me are subject to my performance. That, as I believe Christ spoke tenderly and strongly to me on the plane, is a lie from the pit of hell. It is fundamental unbelief in the gospel. That's why it pierced my heart. That question exposed the root of the hurt, stomach issues, stress, and feelings of comparison and failure I perpectually feel. He corrected me with the gospel that says essentially this: "You are right. I am Savior, I am love, I am Forgiver, I am Giver of your gifts and passions, I am the Author of your time and Planner of your place in this world. But God set a bar a long time ago that you could never meet. You can never serve me hard enough, juggle well enough, or love greatly enough. You as a person will never meet the bar. But God's approval of you is not tied to your performance. It's tied to Mine. I did what you can't do. I did it all, perfectly, fully, met the bar, and fully pleased God. The final expression of that was My death on the cross. My resurrection says that the bar, which really leads to death, doesn't exist anymore. You are fully approved because your life is hidden in Mine. That will not change and that approval is fully at its fullest all the time, because I am. So, you are free. That's what I say over you. I "think" of you as approved and free from meeting the bar. You receive that grace and honestly, let yourself off the hook. You could never do enough. That's Who I am and what I did, and what I continue to do. So then, you can live and rest in the fact that that's who I say you are." Now I can actually believe something REAL about Jesus. I am finding that the realness of Jesus in my life as it is today will always go back to the gospel.

Talk about reinflating a heart! Nothing does more for a woman that longs for a real relationship with Christ and to do good for Him (Martha, anyone?) than to hear His gospel again, spoken right over her life, setting her free, giving her rest. Oh Jesus I needed that! Thank you!

I wonder how you answered that question. Did you wrestle with it? Did you try to opt out of it like I did? Or did you fall head long into it and receive His grace in your time of need? Do you know what He says about you? It's no different than what He thinks of you. You are Who He says You are because of Who He is and What He did, so that He can do what He says He can do and be the God He says He is in a real way in your life today.

So, I cling to the gospel in a fresh way because of a question Jesus brought to me in Beautiful Outlaw. Did I mention it's a really great book?

Just another seed of my faith,
Ginny