Waiting on the Precipice

We stand on the precipice of a new year. That usually brings feelings of hope for what could be, and reflection on what has been. And something in the middle called waiting. Hope for what could be and wonder that is hasn't happened yet. I wonder, at the end of the year, what you are waiting for.

When it comes to living beyond your past do you, like Rahab, stand waiting, watching, for the final straw that will usher you into the unfettered life you've hoped for?  When the words” leave behind” and “live beyond” will be more than hope, they’ll be reality?

Rahab watched, and then she heard it. How much had she heard about Him! She was hearing the sound of His faithfulness. He was coming to rescue her. First it was the rumbling of the army marching, then the trumpets. For six days, she heard the sounds of deliverance.

But still she waited.

On the precipice of a new day, the sound of the army and trumpets filled the air. This time, something more rang out.

"Shout! For the LORD has given you the city! The city and all that is in it are to be devoted to the LORD. Only Rahab the prostitute and all who are with her in her house shall be spared, because she hid the spies we sent.” (Josh. 6:16-17)

The Hebrew word for “let live” or in my NIV1984 “shall be spared” is chayah and it means to live, to revive, give (promise) life, nourish up, preserve (alive), recover, repair, restore (to life), revive, God save (alive, life, lives), surely, be whole.

Be whole.

Stop and breathe it in.

Yes surely, to be whole.

He is faithful to every individual to make them whole when they believe. Not just get you out of sin yet still be broken; rather to deliver you and make you whole. God showed up for Rahab and the command was: destroy this place that is wicked and that holds her in, and let her surely be whole. God promised her Life and it was time to live in it.

Are you ready for your walls to come down? Are you ready to be revived and restored to life? Are you starving to be nourished up? Do you surely want to be whole?

Then the time has come. Right now, those walls can come down! Jericho’s walls were no match for the I AM. They were brought down in an instant and never rebuilt. Everything inside was devoted (or given over) to God, never to be taken back.

Wholeness for us, as for Rahab, means that walls that have held in place the lies and sin residing in our spirits, souls, and bodies are going to come down. The walls of life patterns, views of the world and sex, how we approach relationships, how we view men and ourselves, how we see our bodies, even how we have, until now, understood and related to God—all those walls are going to come down.  We do not have to be held captive or live any longer inside those walls. Christ said He came to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. (Isa. 61:1) Christ’s life and death were the shout, and His resurrection brought the walls down! Now we get to leave behind the rubble of our old spirit-soul-body ways and walk in wholeness and new life with Jesus. What are we waiting for?

With the thrill of His freedom in full view, understand that wholeness also means everything inside the walls is going to have to be given over completely to God. None of that will be allowed to be held on to, or come with us when we leave. It can’t be a part of living beyond, because we won’t really be living beyond. We’ll just move a bit and claim a “fresh start,” only to discover that we brought trouble and destruction with us. (Josh. 6:18)

Take time to consider what you are waiting for. Do you believe that God can bring down the walls that you have built up in your spirit, soul (the seat of thoughts and emotions), and body that stand against Him and hold you and your sin inside them? Whether you feel captive or in some ways comfortable, talk to Him about what’s inside your walls that you’ll have to give to Him. He knows already, but He wants to engage your heart and show you what real freedom means.

If you stand on the precipice of living beyond your past, today is your day. Today, the walls come down. Today, you get to leave your past behind. Today, you get to be whole.

Just another seed of my faith,

Ginny 

Divine Interruption

Christmas is coming. What we celebrate around this time, in all the glitter and gifts, food and fun, is The Story. Christmas is our way of remembering exactly how Jesus took center stage. How He interrupted humanity’s story to take it in a new direction.

He does that, you know. Shows up, and creates a point on which everything in our stories hinge. Like the manger, it often doesn’t glitter, but looking back, we realize that it was that Divine interruption that set our rescue in motion. It was that moment when ordinary and old gave way to extraordinarily new.

Then Joshua son of Nun secretly sent two spies from Shittim. "Go, look over the land," he said, "especially Jericho." So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there. --Joshua 2:1

Rahab had no idea the spies were going to show up that day. Rahab woke up, got out of bed and put her two feet on the floor that morning just as every morning; just as you and I do.

Picture, as best you can, God on His throne in heaven.  He knew before time began, that this woman Rahab, in all of her inglorious, unrighteous mess, would be a part of His Story. While it was an ordinary day in Jericho, something extraordinary was happening in heaven. God was guiding those spies right to Rahab. There are no “it just happened to be” or coincidences with God. For the spies, “God knew there was one that would be true to them, though they did not.” ^{(Matthew Henry)} Use that same lens to look at Rahab and realize that God knew there was one that would be true to Him, though she did not yet know Him. She had heard about Him. But God knew of her faith and faithfulness, even before she did!

Can you recall a day when you woke up and put both feet on the floor, not knowing God would interrupt your day, your story, and your life, and Divine interruption would mean you were never again the same?

I recall a day where at my lowest, in the depths of rebellion and sexual sin, I had a very candid conversation with God. Whenever I was confronted with my sin, my soul just bled pain and then bubbled with more rebellion. That day I asked God to leave me alone and not convict me anymore. Looking back now, that was the day where I most felt His presence. It was the turning point in my story. It wasn’t a great day of my faithfulness; it was a great day of His! That day God refused to leave me alone and He let me know He was relentlessly pursuing me in my unfaithfulness. He knew the end of my story and He knew that He would rescue me, and I would be rescued. He saw me in my ordinary day of sexual sin, and He knew of my faith and faithfulness, even before I did.

Do you see that God planned your rescue? He planned to let you hear stories of redemption. He planned to stir faith in you that He is the I AM, for you and not just for “others.” He planned to interrupt an ordinary day filled with ordinary life and the patterns of sin that had become so ordinary to you. He planned to stop you in your tracks and extend a hand for you grab on to. He saw you and He knew of your faith and faithfulness before you did. How did He know? Because the rescue was all on Him. Because He sits in a place of seeing the bigger story at work.

Read Ephesians 2:3-10. Use your Bible first, then see verses 7-10 in a fresh way in The Message.

Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.

Whose idea and work is your salvation? (God’s)

Who gives grace to you? (God)

Who gives the gift of faith? (God)

Who “does both the making and saving?” (God)

Who prepares for you a new and active life beyond your past, a bigger story where He is at the center? (God)

God does it all! This is the Good News!  

Interrupted in the ordinary. Intersected at the precise time. Irrevocably altering the direction. God showing up to change everything. That is God’s story played out again and again. That’s not just a Christmas story, or someone else’s story, it’s the Bigger Story at work in your life. And He already knows how it ends.

Your faith.

Your faithfulness.

A life beyond your past.

Just another seed of my faith,

Ginny

Knowing I AM

I AM. 
LORD.
Your Bible most likely has this name written in all caps. It is God’s name that was to convey that He was a personal God with a personal name. He would be rescuing a people that were personally His with a personal purpose for Himself and them based on a personal promise He made with Abraham a long time before.

I AM. This same One has extended His hand to rescue us. He's the One we get to know.  

I AM was the One Rahab was grabbing onto for rescue as well. Why did she trust His hand? How did Rahab even know about Him? What did she know about Him? 

Numbers 14:13-14 tells us that stories were pouring out of Egypt about how God had rescued the Israelites. These stories had reached Jericho, where Rahab lived, and were powerful enough to make the city melt with fear. 

Not just rumor, but true story had it that "You, O LORD, are with these people and that You, O LORD, have been seen face to face, that Your cloud stays over them, and that You go before them in a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night." 

Sometimes it's hard to think that words like cloud, pillar, and O LORD from Numbers fit into our own desire to live beyond our pasts. But consider the deeper truths Rahab believed as she reached out to grab onto I AM--the God…

Who is God. Whatever her experience with gods and worship in Jericho, and whatever her heart had wanted or wondered about gods, she was now certain of this one thing. I AM, this final, real name for the real true God told her He alone was God and He did these mighty deeds which she had heard about. She declared by faith that He was over everything, everywhere. (Josh. 2:11)

Who had a people He fought for.  The stories revealed that Israel was free. They were no longer slaves that belonged to masters; they belonged to a God Who fought for them to give them this new life. Rahab "belonged" for a moment to whoever purchased her body. I wonder if the reality of Israel’s freedom and a God Who fought for them gave her faith that she would no longer have to belong to someone for a moment, or for a price, because she could be free and truly belong to Him. I AM would fight for her, rescue her, and bring her into this new life.

Who could be known. He also was a God Who seemed to invite an intimate, personal knowing of Who He was. Moses had seen Him face to face. God had openly described Himself to Moses in Exodus 34:5-7a. 

Then the LORD came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed his name, the LORD. And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. 

Stop here and really consider the truths He shared about Who He is and how He relates to us int he verse above. God was in a relationship with His people—intimately knowing, and being known—and she could experience that too!

Who never abandoned or left His people alone. Regardless of what they did, He was committed to being with them. He stayed over them and went before them in every step. As a woman who had men come and go in her life, who had been perpetually exposed, and daily consumed and abandoned, her experience with Him could be radically different.

Can you relate to Rahab?

  Do you long to really know God? 

Not just what others have said or dreamed up or made Him out to be?

    

Do you hunger for Him to be real and powerful 

and more than a human conjuring of what a god might be?

     

 Do you desire to be free, living a new life where you truly belong?

        

Do you wish someone would be present and stay?

          

Do you hold out hope that you could fully know Him 

and be known for all you really are: spirit, soul, and body?

           

 Do you ache to be covered and never abandoned or alone again?

Rahab, by hearing, knew LORD, I AM, was a God that did those things. Surely if God could deliver and save them from Egypt, I AM could do it for her.

He could.

She believed.

If you have never heard it, hear it now. I am telling you, God is your personal, rescuing, redeeming God with a purpose for you that fits into His greater story where His glory gets center stage. He is the answer to every one of your longings, desires, secret hopes, and aching hungers. He is that God, and you are that person. 

Will you believe? 

Just another seed of my faith,
Ginny

A Name to Grab onto

(So, I've been editing and editing and editing and editing. You know I love words, and I have had to cut words by the thousands. It seems I can't edit and blog at the same time. So, the manuscript editing is done, and now we can pick up our journey together. Like good friends getting together for coffee, here we are again! To see our last conversation and remember where we left off, go to http://aseedofmyfaith.blogspot.com/2014/07/god-is-in-my-present-past-and-future.html)

I want to take a second and remind you why in the world we are looking at Rahab. She is a woman whose story comes full circle, from living in the mess of her culture to leaving it all behind and living in wholeness with God. The threads of her story tell us that what God did for her, He can do for us.

If we are going to live beyond our pasts, we need a way out. We may be in a place where we feel like we just need a leg up, a path revealed, or a hand to grab on to.

When our daughter was really little, it seemed her dolls were always falling off a cliff. They would be screaming this staring-death-in-the-face scream as their legs dangled over the edge of her bed, I mean, the cliff. Then someone steadily standing on the precipice would call out, “Gimme yor hand!” And the fair, screeching maiden would be rescued.

Many of us, like my daughter’s dolls, have been to the cliff’s edge. We have gone as far as we think we could go with this relationship, this need or desire, this approach to life, this sin, or “our pasts.” We want out; we seek healing, change, and freedom. In that place where we realize we need rescue, we need a hand that backs up the depth and weight of all truth, but a hand that’s easy to grab on to when trouble comes.

I AM THAT I AM is the depth and weight of God’s name. I AM is a shortened way of saying I AM THAT I AM. It’s the name God gave Israel to grab on to (Ex. 3:14) and the one Rahab grabbed on to in order to be rescued from the coming attack on her city. By His very name and nature, He extends His hand for us to reach out and grab onto Him too.

Who are we grabbing on to? I AM, LORD, tells each of us:

The LORD is committed to deliver us in ways that will show us Who He is. 

The LORD is committed to deliver us...
Like Rahab, the Israelites, and the rest of the world, God sees us as worth delivering. This shakes my soul, because I know how many times I felt like God wouldn't want to rescue me. I deserved to be where I was, and believed He felt that same way about me. I also know women who feel shame because once upon a time they said yes to rescue, and then went back into their old ways. They believe they had one shot at getting out and they blew it.  I believe many of us also think that time has run out for us. It's too late for rescue, so we resign to staying here, toughing it out, for the rest of our lives, maybe hoping time will help us feel better. (Has it?)

But He sees us as worth delivering. I know this, because He sent His Son when we were at our worst. We were His enemies and yet He still loved us and sent His Son to rescue us and bring us back to Himself. If we weren't worth delivering, He would not have made a way for rescue.

I AM says that He will rescue us out of sin, and shame, and the struggle with our pasts. Why? Because He doesn't leave anyone broken who desires to be whole. In the bigger picture, He desires that no one perish but that all come to repentance. (1 Pet. 3:9) He desires--wants--to rescue and bring us to a place of life with Him.

...in ways that will show us Who He is. 
But it gets better. He sees us as worth delivering and we will know Him by His delivering. Many of us may wonder if God rescues us if we'll really get to know Him. Will we be rescued because God rescues, but not get to have a close personal relationship with Him? Will the reason He had to rescue us be the very reason He will always hold us at arms length?

Think about rescue, about reaching out a hand and grabbing on. If you are drawn out of deep waters, your rescuer doesn't hold you away from his body. The strength of pulling you out of a terrible situation is found in arms that draw you up and towards the rescuer. You are wrapped in their arms, held close as you realize that you are finally safe. 

God grabs your hand and draws you into His loving, safe arms. He holds you there. You are pulled in close, but it doesn't stop there. You aren't dusted off, set upright, and left alone. Deliverance is the way we get to know Him personally, step by step, as He leads us out and beyond this place. It's being close to Him on a life journey of knowing Him. It starts with deliverance.

We will know Who He is by looking at what He has done.
This name, I AM, reminded Moses and the people that God had been known personally by their forefathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and He had done amazing things for them.

For us, that is true as well. If we want to know God, we need to look at Jesus and what He has done. Christ expresses this truth in John 14:9-11. According to these verses we can see God if we look at Jesus. We see God at work through Jesus, and by listening to the words of Jesus.

I cannot think of a single story where someone called out in faith to be healed--taken from broken to whole, from living in this sinful or terrible place to getting to live in a new life--where Jesus denied that cry. I can think of so many where He reached out first! He loved to reach out His hands and touch and make new, forgive sins and offer new life. That's our God. He doesn't change. He still loves to bring wholeness and a life in Him beyond the old story.

We also look at what He did on the cross. Here He stretched out His hands for our rescue. Because He delivered us by the finished work on the cross...

Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. (Jn. 19:28-30)

...we get to spend today and eternity knowing Him.

Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. (Jn. 17:3)

A hand that willfully, wants to, reach out and rescue. A hand that stretched out on the cross, and a hand that will hold us today and lead us into eternity. But hands are connected to someone. That hand is His hand. The One you can know, Who has known you all along, and wants you to know Him more. For all eternity.

It's that hand extended, reaching out to you, to rescue you, once and for all, out of your old story, out of your past.

We have the same choice Rahab did. Will we grab on?

Just another seed of my faith,
Ginny

God is in my present, past, and future

I've spent the last few posts sharing threads of God's story with Rahab and us. When I immersed myself in God's story with Rahab I found that I had so much in common with a prostitute from Jericho. She had a "now" she was living in, and as she heard stories about what God had done for others her heart opened towards a future that could be totally changed and connected to the God Who saves. 

That sounds really good, but I was rattled by her faith. She knew so little, yet she believed. In light of her faith on display, I had to ask: if we hear stories about what God has done for others, and we choose to believe what He did for others He can do for us--deep down, what are we really believing? What are we going on? Those stories can have religious language and even happy endings, but there is something more to them. There's a reality. Power. Something over, under, around, with, in, behind, ahead--making all this story, this living beyond, happen.

So the question becomes, Who are we really believing?

We see her faith rested on God, with a specific name she called upon. That name drew me in, beckoned me to go deeper. He plunged me into fresh waters with a single word: LORD.

In the Bible, your name meant your character. This name for God was a game-changer. God spoke it for the first time to Moses in Exodus 3:14. 

God said to Moses, "I AM THAT I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' "

Your Bible most likely has this name written in all caps. It is God’s name that was to convey to Moses and the people that He was a personal God with a personal name. He would be rescuing a people that were personally His with a personal purpose for Himself and them based on a personal promise He made with Abraham a long time before. The name He reveals to Moses is “'Ehyeh 'asher 'ehyeh” or I AM THAT I AM.

I love what it conveys, but those words grouped together seem nebulous. What does that mean? Scholars have a lot to say about it. Understanding His name may help us to see both the depth of this name and the weight of what Rahab believed when she called on this name. And the kind of God He would be for her. That goes for us too.   

While I am certainly not a scholar, I find the original languages of the Bible incredibly interesting. They have much more depth and breadth than modern English. What you see in our English translations is good, but there can often be more than what meets the eye. 

What we find about I AM THAT I AM is that the verb means is, was, and is coming all at the same time. God is God in the present, past, and future simultaneously.

This truth comes to life in Revelation 1:4, 8.

...Grace and peace to you from Him Who is, and Who was, and Who is to come, and from the seven spirits before His throne..."I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "Who is, and Who was, and Who is to come, the Almighty."

I am convinced that the order of these words is more than just original verb tense. 

Who is
I believe that God puts His name in this order, with Who is first, because He wants us to know that He is a God Who is near and here. Right now. He is at the center of our reality. He is the source of all our reality. We can ignore, slight, or rebel against that, but it doesn't change the fact that every moment we are in, He is relevant and here. 

So we can’t put God only at creation and “Bible times” and then at Judgment and heaven. And we can’t push God until “later.” My heart cries out at how many of us, including myself, have tried to push God to “later,” not understanding it was Him in that moment refusing to be pushed and pursuing us in spite of our denial and rebellion!

Have you ever tried to ignore Him or push Him off? Have you tried to tell God you will deal with Him later? 

The encouragement is that we don’t only have to look back at time where we knew Him or didn't know Him, or look to a distant time when maybe we will get to know and experience Him. He is now, and we can have a real relationship with Him here.

Who was
I learned to love that He was in the past. Initially it was hard to imagine God being in times, places, situations, and relationships in the past because at the time I didn't want Him there, nor did I expect that He wanted to be there. And since there were parts of the past when I had carefully avoided Him by choice how could He be near me at those times? 

I have come to understand that the past was at one time the present, and God has never left me. He is near and He is here, so He was near and He was there. With this realization, I don't have to hide as though I can now cover what He shouldn't have seen. He saw my nakedness in all its forms (spirit, soul, and body) and tells me that there is no shame, because my past is covered by a Name He gave me faith to call upon as well--Jesus. We’ll explore those riches in steps further down our path.

Who is to come

He is also the One Who is to come. He is in the future. What about your future? Not just heaven, but tomorrow. God is already there. How does that make you feel? I wonder if that brings hope, fear, comfort, conviction, or an invitation to be totally changed and forever connected to a God Who saves.

Maybe you are like Rahab, and like me. Your ears and heart are hearing His name in its fullness. Thoughts and feelings may be emerging as you consider that He has always been in the present, past, and future. Don't be afraid to sort through those with Him. He is, was, and is to come. He is here with you, at the center of your reality. He has never left you and He desires to have you close so you can know Him more. In knowing Him personally He has more planned for you than staying where you are. There's more to His story with you.

LORD.  
What a name. What a God. What a game-changer.
That's Who we're believing.

And that's just a start.

Just another seed of my faith,
Ginny

Not just for others

The way vampires can't do light or the Wicked Witch can't do water, there was a time when I couldn't do "testimonies." 

It didn't matter if it was at church when I happened to have just enough courage to darken the doors of a place where I had wreaked relational havoc. It didn't matter if it was a spiritual rumor about someone “getting right with God” or even some book a well-meaning Christian passed to me or my parents. Some snippet of true story, some tale of turning back, some testimony of grace and life-change and I would wilt and shrink into the shadows half listening until the sounds of stories, where God was doing something good for a real person, finally faded. 

Like Rahab (Read here to see spiritually how our stories may mirror Rahab's), I was definitely in my own Jericho. I felt I was living in a place outside of where He was. I was far from Him and His people in life, heart, and actions. When bits of stories and truth would hum and murmur, coming closer and closer to the door of my heart, I feared that if I fully gave ear to them I was going to have to deal with the reality of where I actually was. And Who He actually is.

I also hid because I had been deceived. I knew enough about God to know that He was able to do things for others. He could save, yes. He could change people or make people better. He could forgive people. I had heard stories here and there of rescue and love and healing. But I believed deep down in the real spaces of my soul that that was for others. It wasn't available to me. Just look at all I had done and was doing.

For some of us, our Jericho was all we knew. We were just living life, when God began to reveal Who He is. It started as whispers, echoes, rumors, and glimpses. Then louder and clearer. Instead of fear, we leaned-in like Rahab, wondering if stories like this about Him are true. And if those are, could we experience such rescue, love, and healing from a God like that?

Through rumors and stories from Egypt and other nations Israel was conquering, Rahab had heard about God. Whispers and echoes about Him had swirled about until one day, through Israelite spies knocking on the door of her inn, God knocked on the door of her heart. 

How did she respond? Joshua 2:8-13 tells us. These were Rahab's words to the spies sent by God that she was hiding on her roof:  

"I know that the LORD has given this land to you and that a great fear of you has fallen on us, so that all who live in this country are melting in fear because of you. We have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to Sihon and Og, the two kings of the Amorites east of the Jordan, whom you completely destroyed. When we heard of it, our hearts melted and everyone's courage failed because of you, for the LORD your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below. Now then, please swear to me by the LORD that you will show kindness to my family, because I have shown kindness to you. Give me a sure sign that you will spare the lives of my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all who belong to them, and that you will save us from death."

The stories were powerful. Powerful enough to make an entire city feel fear that made them melt. Their courage failed. Yet instead of succumbing to fear, Rahab opened up. Why?

I believe it was because God had been calling to her, with ever growing clarity in the midst of the world's noise, so He could be Rahab’s God and rescue her. He reached into time and space, so she could know Him.

Rahab responded with faith: “The LORD your God is God.” She understood Israel was coming to conquer Jericho next. She believed God and used His name to go out on a faith limb. He was a God Who conquered, but also a God Who saved. What He did for them in Egypt, He could do for her.

When you have heard stories about what God has done for others, what has been your response?

Are open to hear about Him? Are you open to belief? 

Do you tend to deafen your ears or anesthetize your heart? Is that because of fear, shame, or because you feel excluded or disqualified from such goodness?

What God did for slaves in Egypt, God could do for a woman in Jericho. What God did for Rahab—for others—God can, will, and wants to do for you.

Will you listen? Will you go out on a faith limb? Will you believe?

Just another seed of my faith,

Ginny

What if this is all we've ever known?

I shared this truth with you in our last time together: God’s Word is full of people who have messed up. And moreover it’s full of people that have messed up sexually. There is a story tucked somewhere in God's Word for each of us. He uses His real story in someone long ago to reach into our stories right where we are.

So, which story first? You could run the spectrum from prostitutes to kings and ordinary people in between, so let's just start with a prostitute. 

Rahab is introduced to us in the Bible in Joshua 2. (I encourage you to read verses 1-13 to get a feel for her story.)

In verse 1, we are given a snapshot of her life: she lived in Jericho and she was a prostitute. 

Before we even know her name we understand her story. In Rahab’s hometown, Jericho, all around in daily life, celebrated in festivals and worship during the seasons, at the center of authority and culture, was this deeply degrading religion that resulted in perverted sexuality and horrendous human sacrifice.

Rahab’s eyes, heart, and mind were perpetually bombarded by a culture that devalued people, and sexual sin was squarely in the center of that. This is what she knew.

I believe God shares that she was a prostitute in Jericho, because He wants us to identify several spiritual parallels in our own experience and healing. For us, the focus is less on her profession and more on her culture.

Culture can shape us and instruct us in monumental ways. When it comes to our experiences with sex, or our “pasts,” we may have acted or felt the way we did because this was all we had ever known.

When women have shared their stories with me, many revealed that they didn't understand that sex outside of God’s design was a “thing.” Either they didn't know God, or if they knew about God, they may not have thought He paid much attention to sex and sexuality, specifically their sex and sexuality. They felt no shame, no conviction or remorse, and no regrets based on having sex. As one woman shared with me, “It’s just what we did.”  

I say that frankly so you’ll know that I am not out of touch with the fact that you may be walking this journey with me and you may have had sex in a time of life where sex did not have the words “premarital” or “sin” attached to it. It may have had love, commitment, partying, “it’s what kids do—so just be careful,” excitement, fun, the fulfillment of sexual desires, and a full range of other feelings attached to it. Sex was a part of life and relationships. 

Apart from knowing God and His passion, plan, and purposes for us--including sex--what are we left to play out or experience? We know what we know, and live accordingly.

Think about our culture with me for a minute. Our world, our upbringing, and our context play a significant role in defining our understanding of our bodies, our beauty, our relationships, our worth, our love, our sexuality, and how we meet our needs. What does the world around us teach us in everyday life in these areas? “World” may include our families, friends, co-workers, schools and universities. “World” also includes media. Think about what we see and hear through music, the internet, movies, celebrities, nationally known psychologists and doctors, books, and magazines.

What has the world or culture taught you personally in regard to: 

• What is good and bad about sex? 
• How should you view your body? How should others view your body? 
• What are the most important aspects of a relationship with a man? 
• What’s beauty? How do you know you are beautiful? How do beauty and sex go together? 
• What is the importance of satisfying your sexual desires? 
• How much of your identity and/or image is in your sexuality? 
• What makes you valuable? 
• What is love? How do you know when you’re in love or are loved? 
• What does a satisfied and secure woman look like? How does she relate to men and her body? 

Look back at the list of questions. Which of those isn't taught at all? What goes unspoken? What are you left to figure out on your own? So many of us have developed our own way of living and approaching relationships and sex based on what we can figure out and what we see. It’s bound to be a broken or incomplete approach.  

When God interrupts our lives that are so ingrained in our culture, many of us meet the wonder of the God Who rescues with an eye looking over our shoulder at all we've learned and done (and are doing). We feel another sense of wonder at how God is going to “take all that", or help us live differently. 

The truth is God saw Jericho. God saw Rahab, in all her reality. God did not wait until Rahab had recognized all the fallacies, degradation, and moral corruption of Jericho before He began to stir something in her soul. He did not give us scripture that stated that she once was a prostitute that had recognized her reprehensible ways and people, and was now living entirely counter-culturally and therefore was worthy of rescuing. 

Just the start of Rahab’s story is God’s heart on display. No one--no matter how colored by culture, how sexually involved, how unaware of God and His ways--is beyond rescue. God has seen our whole stories so far, and yet He still draws near to us. 

What He shows us in that one verse is that He will meet us right where we are—whether we know it’s a mess or not. 

What we'll learn is He has a plan for both rescue and life beyond.

What He did for Rahab, He can do for us.

Just another seed of my faith, 
Ginny

Somebody had to say it

I read an article in Relevant magazine that magnified our issue with the "s-word" in our faith communities. It was one of the 5 Uncomfortable Issues The Church Needs to Talk About

Why are we silent? Honestly, we are not silent about other's sexuality. We are vocal about our concerns and God's Word towards a myriad of sexual issues and sins that manifest themselves in the lives of those around us. 

And I think there are great speakers, bloggers, teachers, even institutes who are working on fueling a Christ-centered conversation that they hope and pray will produce transformation.

No, I mean us. Regular believers in regular churches. Small groups, Bible studies, friendships. We struggle to share what many of us deal with, and that is either sexual sin in the past or current sexual desires and issues. 

Our reservation is beyond the private nature of sex. It's beyond the concern over polite conversation. I believe if we shared we'd have to expect a response. We fear the response, or we fear that we'll have to give one. Everyone would be exposed. What would we all say?

Brennan Manning in Ragamuffin Gospel is faithful to remind us that the ground is level at the foot of the Cross. We are all radically rescued. When it comes to past or current sin struggles, we have the privilege to both reflect our humble state and our incredible Savior. What we want to both give and receive is not condemnation or judgement, but hope, healing or help.

I believe many of us feel inhibited to share hope, healing, or help because if we were really honest, we can't give what we don't have. We haven't actually sorted through our story with Christ. I've said He only deals in redemptive stories. Our story has been redeemed--do we know it? If we did, I think we would and could share without shame or stigma the truth of His story in us and how He continues to make and keep us whole. We could actually engage in a real, full conversation that the Church longs to have, helping others beyond shelved, stuck, shamed, secret, or straight-up broken.

It's not a two-way conversation either. There's another voice. You know, God is not mute on the subject of sex. Or redemption.

I recall a time as I taught God’s Word, that we ran into two separate stories which both tied into sexual sin. As I shared God’s heart concerning those passages of Scripture someone in the group was visibly uncomfortable and growing more uncomfortable by the minute. Continuing to talk through God’s perspective and His involvement in these situations and in the lives of these people, she finally motioned to me and said, “Excuse me; you realize that you’re talking about sex.”

I understood her discomfort. I used the "s-word" at church. It’s hard to imagine that a holy and pure and beautiful God would dig into that subject. We may see Him as the God Who created rules around sex and most of us know God’s Word contains a lot of “don’t” about sex. Beyond the “don’t” and the foreign agricultural love terms in Song of Solomon, discussions of sex get personal and physical. At times we can feel they don’t fit well in a discussion with God.

Thankfully the God we have not only designed sex and sexuality but also understands that the very things that He has designed us to be and do--in a perfect and beautiful and holy way--are the same things we can fail in. We can mess that up. But He’s a God who specializes in loving and healing and restoring, making us new by addressing all of the failures, mess ups, and the screw ups. I shared with her that while sometimes it’s hard to listen to, understand, or explore, God’s Word is full of people who have messed up. And moreover it’s full of people that have messed up sexually.

What’s amazing is that God is at the center of every single one of those stories. The people in those stories don’t get the glory, they don’t get center stage, and the sin doesn't get center stage either. God gets center stage. God’s story, the Bible, is about God. He’s at the center. Understanding that God is at the center of each of these stories is going to be critical as we delve into the fact that God desires to enter into the center of our own mess. And He gets the glory for getting us out and making us new. 

So, if you were a not-yet-believer, young or undiscipled believer, or lived in a home where the things of this world were the only things that were taught--there is a story for you.

If you experienced the presentation of God’s laws in a Bible-infused culture which was long on condemnation and shame but rather short on the love, practical explanation, and grace-filled counsel necessary to help you know Him and desire to follow His ways--there's a story for you.

If you knew God, knew better, and still did it--there's a story for you.

These were real people with real pasts stained with sexual sin, and in God, they ultimately found healing and living beyond all that. His whole story is found with prostitutes and kings. What He did for them, He can do for us.

I'll say the "s-word." But I'll say it with hope, healing, and help because He has made me whole. What He did for me, He can do for you.

Just another seed of my faith,
Ginny

Monica Lewinsky and a New Story

Have you ever been on a trip where you know which highway you'll be traveling on, you just have to find the on-ramp?

I have been on a journey for a long time, but specifically the last year. I know that there's a direction that God has for my life--a message He's given me to share. It's my highway, but I've been looking for an on ramp to begin to share it.

I found my on ramp. Monica Lewinsky.
I know, right?! Who would have thought?

She recently wrote an article for Vanity Fair. When I read it, it delighted me down to the depths of my soul. In it she shared, "It’s time to burn the beret and bury the blue dress."

I cannot imagine what she has been through. In the article, she was very up front with her personal choices to have a consensual, sexual relationship with President Clinton. She chose to do something in private, but the aftermath was on the public stage. Her image, name, and past were (and are) all over the internet. The personal devastation has been more than most of us could have handled.

When you think about Monica Lewinsky, if you know who she is, your thoughts are probably not on her quality as a White House intern. One sexual relationship. One affair. Handed a scarlet letter again and again for what she did. She is forever branded--black beret, blue dress.

Or is she?

Several studies have been done on sex and the church. The conclusion? A vast majority of Christians had sex before they were married. I, too, have a story that included premarital sexual sin. Maybe you do too.

We chose to do something in private, and the aftermath may not be all over the world's stage, but it can try to take center stage in our minds and memories. For many of us, we have confessed our sin and received God's forgiveness. We call the aftermath "our past,” and we've done an effective job of shelving it or moving on, but it lingers beneath the surface. It pops up in memories, dreams, and flashbacks that come at the strangest times. We've tried to rise above feelings of guilt and push ahead with better behavior, but this keeps coming up again and again in our hearts and minds.

Sexual sin. "Our past." Internally awarded a scarlet letter every time those thoughts rear their ugly head. We feel forever branded--our own version of a black beret and blue dress. Are you like Ms. Lewinsky? Do you ever just want to burn it and bury it?

The article says after ten years of silence, she has a message: "...it is time to stop 'tiptoeing around my past—and other people’s futures. I am determined to have a different ending to my story. I've decided, finally, to stick my head above the parapet so that I can take back my narrative and give a purpose to my past. (What this will cost me, I will soon find out.)'"

She's on a journey. She has made a bold choice. It's time to live a new story. Did you notice she is determined to have a different ending to her story? She is willing to risk everything, pay whatever price, to give a purpose to her past. She’s done being branded and wants to be known for hope and healing, and a new life beyond.

I am not sure about her faith story, but I know this for certain: God only deals in redemptive stories. He promised all the way back at the first sin, the first failure, that our stories were not over. He would come after us, He would cover us, and He would ultimately redeem humanity's story once and for all. Even when the consequences of humanity's private choices stared us in the face, God was the One finishing our story. He risked everything. He paid the price by giving His Son, Jesus, as a sacrifice for our sins. And by raising Him from the dead, He finished the old story and began a new one. One where the past doesn't reign--He does. And He will redeem, or give purpose, to our past, present, and future.

He has a whole story with us, not just a single story that brands us. It's a story where He gets center stage. The story begins as a journey, a trip, with Jesus. It's one I have taken with Him. It's one I am willing to travel again with whoever wants to journey beyond past sexual sin and into the living God has for us beyond.

This is the on-ramp. I'll be sharing the journey here. I hope you and the women that you know that share a desire to live in the wholeness God has for them will take this journey with me.

Saying yes to the One Who took back my narrative and gave purpose to my whole story...Saying yes to sharing His message.

The biggest seed of my faith yet,

Ginny