Have you ever just wanted to say something great to God? You are there with Him, you've emptied your list and your heart, and all of the real you is laid before Him. All you want is to say something that is adequate to such an amazing God. I was there recently.
I work out of 2 journals: one that is writing and paragraphs of pouring out my mind and heart to God. Then there is another journal that's sort of "word art." I wish I could create beautiful art for Him. But He and I both know my words and His are a form of art, so that's where we join hands across the space of things unseen and we go together. When I don't know where to begin, but I sense a need to be with Him, I go to word art. I had a blank piece of paper in front of me, and the two words that seemed most appropriate with which to start were "You Are." Some of the things that poured out of "You Are" were answers to my needs and circumstances and heart longings. Knowing He is Author, Planner, Approver, Rest-giver, Coverer of my mouth, Creator of time, Peace, the One Who calls, Revealer, and more. In all of these words that were pouring out of my pen on this page, I felt scattered. My heart and my head were all over the place at the infinity of things that He Is. I wanted what would best praise Him and worship Him in that moment. I was hungry to really worship Him. I wanted to have the right words, the right heart, and I wanted Him to hear it. Really hear it, and have it radiate glory and all things true about that moment between us. I desired heaven to scream in joy and agreement when that praise rolled in. Not because of me, but because it was best about Him and we all knew it!
So in the midst of scribbling words, I became desperate to worship Him. Nothing I was writing was false or contrived, but it felt inadequate compared to the GOD in front of me. So, I told Him how desperate I felt to worship Him. His response surprised me. He said, "Then live."
Live.
I breathed in deeply, and Romans 12:1 flooded to my mind. The deepest way to worship, as God has defined it is to sacrifice. In light of Jesus' sacrifice in my place, what God calls mercy in that verse, I am to offer my life to God. If I want to worship, I need to live. But that doesn't imply that I go and do significant things right this moment. My initial reaction was to get up from my desk with a really powerful, significant checklist and do something great. Pen in hand I said, "God, tell me what to do today. Anything. What ever it is, I will do it!" Ears open, I was waiting for something great. God dug deeper in His response. "Living is not equated with doing, but being. Being here, even now, is living."
He brought to heart the story of Lazarus in John 11. You realize, Lazarus did not do anything spectacular but live at Christ's command. He's made famous in the Bible for living. Scratch that. Christ said He is made famous by giving life to a dead man named Lazarus. Lazarus living brought glory to God. (John 11:4, 40). When Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go," He didn't tag on anything to that. It wasn't "let him go so he can preach." "Let him go so he can lead tons of people." "Let him go so he can make money to support good things." It was simply let him go so he can live. Living brings God glory.
Every moment, every breath He gives me, is a sign. It's a sign that God redeems, God has a purpose for a human, God has a plan for this woman, and God loves. Because I live, or exist, I point to a God that is glorious. He gives the life that is in me as a sign of His love and glory. One breath at a time. He is that LIFE (Jn 6:35, Deut 30:19-20). What else but His life could bring any glory at all? Everything else would fall short.
As I breathed in the depth of this truth and experience, God released this little list-making, box-checking, pen-in-hand woman by sharing that I could do nothing of earthly significance today but simply be, and being wrapped up in His life, that would be to His glory.
I sat being, as I do right now, asking Him to wrap me up in His life. With another breath breathed, Do with me what You want. In Your being and living in me, let it be real worship to You.
Just another seed of my faith,
Ginny
