What if this is all we've ever known?

I shared this truth with you in our last time together: God’s Word is full of people who have messed up. And moreover it’s full of people that have messed up sexually. There is a story tucked somewhere in God's Word for each of us. He uses His real story in someone long ago to reach into our stories right where we are.

So, which story first? You could run the spectrum from prostitutes to kings and ordinary people in between, so let's just start with a prostitute. 

Rahab is introduced to us in the Bible in Joshua 2. (I encourage you to read verses 1-13 to get a feel for her story.)

In verse 1, we are given a snapshot of her life: she lived in Jericho and she was a prostitute. 

Before we even know her name we understand her story. In Rahab’s hometown, Jericho, all around in daily life, celebrated in festivals and worship during the seasons, at the center of authority and culture, was this deeply degrading religion that resulted in perverted sexuality and horrendous human sacrifice.

Rahab’s eyes, heart, and mind were perpetually bombarded by a culture that devalued people, and sexual sin was squarely in the center of that. This is what she knew.

I believe God shares that she was a prostitute in Jericho, because He wants us to identify several spiritual parallels in our own experience and healing. For us, the focus is less on her profession and more on her culture.

Culture can shape us and instruct us in monumental ways. When it comes to our experiences with sex, or our “pasts,” we may have acted or felt the way we did because this was all we had ever known.

When women have shared their stories with me, many revealed that they didn't understand that sex outside of God’s design was a “thing.” Either they didn't know God, or if they knew about God, they may not have thought He paid much attention to sex and sexuality, specifically their sex and sexuality. They felt no shame, no conviction or remorse, and no regrets based on having sex. As one woman shared with me, “It’s just what we did.”  

I say that frankly so you’ll know that I am not out of touch with the fact that you may be walking this journey with me and you may have had sex in a time of life where sex did not have the words “premarital” or “sin” attached to it. It may have had love, commitment, partying, “it’s what kids do—so just be careful,” excitement, fun, the fulfillment of sexual desires, and a full range of other feelings attached to it. Sex was a part of life and relationships. 

Apart from knowing God and His passion, plan, and purposes for us--including sex--what are we left to play out or experience? We know what we know, and live accordingly.

Think about our culture with me for a minute. Our world, our upbringing, and our context play a significant role in defining our understanding of our bodies, our beauty, our relationships, our worth, our love, our sexuality, and how we meet our needs. What does the world around us teach us in everyday life in these areas? “World” may include our families, friends, co-workers, schools and universities. “World” also includes media. Think about what we see and hear through music, the internet, movies, celebrities, nationally known psychologists and doctors, books, and magazines.

What has the world or culture taught you personally in regard to: 

• What is good and bad about sex? 
• How should you view your body? How should others view your body? 
• What are the most important aspects of a relationship with a man? 
• What’s beauty? How do you know you are beautiful? How do beauty and sex go together? 
• What is the importance of satisfying your sexual desires? 
• How much of your identity and/or image is in your sexuality? 
• What makes you valuable? 
• What is love? How do you know when you’re in love or are loved? 
• What does a satisfied and secure woman look like? How does she relate to men and her body? 

Look back at the list of questions. Which of those isn't taught at all? What goes unspoken? What are you left to figure out on your own? So many of us have developed our own way of living and approaching relationships and sex based on what we can figure out and what we see. It’s bound to be a broken or incomplete approach.  

When God interrupts our lives that are so ingrained in our culture, many of us meet the wonder of the God Who rescues with an eye looking over our shoulder at all we've learned and done (and are doing). We feel another sense of wonder at how God is going to “take all that", or help us live differently. 

The truth is God saw Jericho. God saw Rahab, in all her reality. God did not wait until Rahab had recognized all the fallacies, degradation, and moral corruption of Jericho before He began to stir something in her soul. He did not give us scripture that stated that she once was a prostitute that had recognized her reprehensible ways and people, and was now living entirely counter-culturally and therefore was worthy of rescuing. 

Just the start of Rahab’s story is God’s heart on display. No one--no matter how colored by culture, how sexually involved, how unaware of God and His ways--is beyond rescue. God has seen our whole stories so far, and yet He still draws near to us. 

What He shows us in that one verse is that He will meet us right where we are—whether we know it’s a mess or not. 

What we'll learn is He has a plan for both rescue and life beyond.

What He did for Rahab, He can do for us.

Just another seed of my faith, 
Ginny

Somebody had to say it

I read an article in Relevant magazine that magnified our issue with the "s-word" in our faith communities. It was one of the 5 Uncomfortable Issues The Church Needs to Talk About

Why are we silent? Honestly, we are not silent about other's sexuality. We are vocal about our concerns and God's Word towards a myriad of sexual issues and sins that manifest themselves in the lives of those around us. 

And I think there are great speakers, bloggers, teachers, even institutes who are working on fueling a Christ-centered conversation that they hope and pray will produce transformation.

No, I mean us. Regular believers in regular churches. Small groups, Bible studies, friendships. We struggle to share what many of us deal with, and that is either sexual sin in the past or current sexual desires and issues. 

Our reservation is beyond the private nature of sex. It's beyond the concern over polite conversation. I believe if we shared we'd have to expect a response. We fear the response, or we fear that we'll have to give one. Everyone would be exposed. What would we all say?

Brennan Manning in Ragamuffin Gospel is faithful to remind us that the ground is level at the foot of the Cross. We are all radically rescued. When it comes to past or current sin struggles, we have the privilege to both reflect our humble state and our incredible Savior. What we want to both give and receive is not condemnation or judgement, but hope, healing or help.

I believe many of us feel inhibited to share hope, healing, or help because if we were really honest, we can't give what we don't have. We haven't actually sorted through our story with Christ. I've said He only deals in redemptive stories. Our story has been redeemed--do we know it? If we did, I think we would and could share without shame or stigma the truth of His story in us and how He continues to make and keep us whole. We could actually engage in a real, full conversation that the Church longs to have, helping others beyond shelved, stuck, shamed, secret, or straight-up broken.

It's not a two-way conversation either. There's another voice. You know, God is not mute on the subject of sex. Or redemption.

I recall a time as I taught God’s Word, that we ran into two separate stories which both tied into sexual sin. As I shared God’s heart concerning those passages of Scripture someone in the group was visibly uncomfortable and growing more uncomfortable by the minute. Continuing to talk through God’s perspective and His involvement in these situations and in the lives of these people, she finally motioned to me and said, “Excuse me; you realize that you’re talking about sex.”

I understood her discomfort. I used the "s-word" at church. It’s hard to imagine that a holy and pure and beautiful God would dig into that subject. We may see Him as the God Who created rules around sex and most of us know God’s Word contains a lot of “don’t” about sex. Beyond the “don’t” and the foreign agricultural love terms in Song of Solomon, discussions of sex get personal and physical. At times we can feel they don’t fit well in a discussion with God.

Thankfully the God we have not only designed sex and sexuality but also understands that the very things that He has designed us to be and do--in a perfect and beautiful and holy way--are the same things we can fail in. We can mess that up. But He’s a God who specializes in loving and healing and restoring, making us new by addressing all of the failures, mess ups, and the screw ups. I shared with her that while sometimes it’s hard to listen to, understand, or explore, God’s Word is full of people who have messed up. And moreover it’s full of people that have messed up sexually.

What’s amazing is that God is at the center of every single one of those stories. The people in those stories don’t get the glory, they don’t get center stage, and the sin doesn't get center stage either. God gets center stage. God’s story, the Bible, is about God. He’s at the center. Understanding that God is at the center of each of these stories is going to be critical as we delve into the fact that God desires to enter into the center of our own mess. And He gets the glory for getting us out and making us new. 

So, if you were a not-yet-believer, young or undiscipled believer, or lived in a home where the things of this world were the only things that were taught--there is a story for you.

If you experienced the presentation of God’s laws in a Bible-infused culture which was long on condemnation and shame but rather short on the love, practical explanation, and grace-filled counsel necessary to help you know Him and desire to follow His ways--there's a story for you.

If you knew God, knew better, and still did it--there's a story for you.

These were real people with real pasts stained with sexual sin, and in God, they ultimately found healing and living beyond all that. His whole story is found with prostitutes and kings. What He did for them, He can do for us.

I'll say the "s-word." But I'll say it with hope, healing, and help because He has made me whole. What He did for me, He can do for you.

Just another seed of my faith,
Ginny

Monica Lewinsky and a New Story

Have you ever been on a trip where you know which highway you'll be traveling on, you just have to find the on-ramp?

I have been on a journey for a long time, but specifically the last year. I know that there's a direction that God has for my life--a message He's given me to share. It's my highway, but I've been looking for an on ramp to begin to share it.

I found my on ramp. Monica Lewinsky.
I know, right?! Who would have thought?

She recently wrote an article for Vanity Fair. When I read it, it delighted me down to the depths of my soul. In it she shared, "It’s time to burn the beret and bury the blue dress."

I cannot imagine what she has been through. In the article, she was very up front with her personal choices to have a consensual, sexual relationship with President Clinton. She chose to do something in private, but the aftermath was on the public stage. Her image, name, and past were (and are) all over the internet. The personal devastation has been more than most of us could have handled.

When you think about Monica Lewinsky, if you know who she is, your thoughts are probably not on her quality as a White House intern. One sexual relationship. One affair. Handed a scarlet letter again and again for what she did. She is forever branded--black beret, blue dress.

Or is she?

Several studies have been done on sex and the church. The conclusion? A vast majority of Christians had sex before they were married. I, too, have a story that included premarital sexual sin. Maybe you do too.

We chose to do something in private, and the aftermath may not be all over the world's stage, but it can try to take center stage in our minds and memories. For many of us, we have confessed our sin and received God's forgiveness. We call the aftermath "our past,” and we've done an effective job of shelving it or moving on, but it lingers beneath the surface. It pops up in memories, dreams, and flashbacks that come at the strangest times. We've tried to rise above feelings of guilt and push ahead with better behavior, but this keeps coming up again and again in our hearts and minds.

Sexual sin. "Our past." Internally awarded a scarlet letter every time those thoughts rear their ugly head. We feel forever branded--our own version of a black beret and blue dress. Are you like Ms. Lewinsky? Do you ever just want to burn it and bury it?

The article says after ten years of silence, she has a message: "...it is time to stop 'tiptoeing around my past—and other people’s futures. I am determined to have a different ending to my story. I've decided, finally, to stick my head above the parapet so that I can take back my narrative and give a purpose to my past. (What this will cost me, I will soon find out.)'"

She's on a journey. She has made a bold choice. It's time to live a new story. Did you notice she is determined to have a different ending to her story? She is willing to risk everything, pay whatever price, to give a purpose to her past. She’s done being branded and wants to be known for hope and healing, and a new life beyond.

I am not sure about her faith story, but I know this for certain: God only deals in redemptive stories. He promised all the way back at the first sin, the first failure, that our stories were not over. He would come after us, He would cover us, and He would ultimately redeem humanity's story once and for all. Even when the consequences of humanity's private choices stared us in the face, God was the One finishing our story. He risked everything. He paid the price by giving His Son, Jesus, as a sacrifice for our sins. And by raising Him from the dead, He finished the old story and began a new one. One where the past doesn't reign--He does. And He will redeem, or give purpose, to our past, present, and future.

He has a whole story with us, not just a single story that brands us. It's a story where He gets center stage. The story begins as a journey, a trip, with Jesus. It's one I have taken with Him. It's one I am willing to travel again with whoever wants to journey beyond past sexual sin and into the living God has for us beyond.

This is the on-ramp. I'll be sharing the journey here. I hope you and the women that you know that share a desire to live in the wholeness God has for them will take this journey with me.

Saying yes to the One Who took back my narrative and gave purpose to my whole story...Saying yes to sharing His message.

The biggest seed of my faith yet,

Ginny