I have been on a journey for a long time, but specifically the last year. I know that there's a direction that God has for my life--a message He's given me to share. It's my highway, but I've been looking for an on ramp to begin to share it.
I found my on ramp. Monica Lewinsky.
I know, right?! Who would have thought?
She recently wrote an article for Vanity Fair. When I read it, it delighted me down to the depths of my soul. In it she shared, "It’s time to burn the beret and bury the blue dress."
I cannot imagine what she has been through. In the article, she was very up front with her personal choices to have a consensual, sexual relationship with President Clinton. She chose to do something in private, but the aftermath was on the public stage. Her image, name, and past were (and are) all over the internet. The personal devastation has been more than most of us could have handled.
When you think about Monica Lewinsky, if you know who she is, your thoughts are probably not on her quality as a White House intern. One sexual relationship. One affair. Handed a scarlet letter again and again for what she did. She is forever branded--black beret, blue dress.
Or is she?
Several studies have been done on sex and the church. The conclusion? A vast majority of Christians had sex before they were married. I, too, have a story that included premarital sexual sin. Maybe you do too.
We chose to do something in private, and the aftermath may not be all over the world's stage, but it can try to take center stage in our minds and memories. For many of us, we have confessed our sin and received God's forgiveness. We call the aftermath "our past,” and we've done an effective job of shelving it or moving on, but it lingers beneath the surface. It pops up in memories, dreams, and flashbacks that come at the strangest times. We've tried to rise above feelings of guilt and push ahead with better behavior, but this keeps coming up again and again in our hearts and minds.
Sexual sin. "Our past." Internally awarded a scarlet letter every time those thoughts rear their ugly head. We feel forever branded--our own version of a black beret and blue dress. Are you like Ms. Lewinsky? Do you ever just want to burn it and bury it?
The article says after ten years of silence, she has a message: "...it is time to stop 'tiptoeing around my past—and other people’s futures. I am determined to have a different ending to my story. I've decided, finally, to stick my head above the parapet so that I can take back my narrative and give a purpose to my past. (What this will cost me, I will soon find out.)'"
She's on a journey. She has made a bold choice. It's time to live a new story. Did you notice she is determined to have a different ending to her story? She is willing to risk everything, pay whatever price, to give a purpose to her past. She’s done being branded and wants to be known for hope and healing, and a new life beyond.
I am not sure about her faith story, but I know this for certain: God only deals in redemptive stories. He promised all the way back at the first sin, the first failure, that our stories were not over. He would come after us, He would cover us, and He would ultimately redeem humanity's story once and for all. Even when the consequences of humanity's private choices stared us in the face, God was the One finishing our story. He risked everything. He paid the price by giving His Son, Jesus, as a sacrifice for our sins. And by raising Him from the dead, He finished the old story and began a new one. One where the past doesn't reign--He does. And He will redeem, or give purpose, to our past, present, and future.
He has a whole story with us, not just a single story that brands us. It's a story where He gets center stage. The story begins as a journey, a trip, with Jesus. It's one I have taken with Him. It's one I am willing to travel again with whoever wants to journey beyond past sexual sin and into the living God has for us beyond.
This is the on-ramp. I'll be sharing the journey here. I hope you and the women that you know that share a desire to live in the wholeness God has for them will take this journey with me.
Saying yes to the One Who took back my narrative and gave purpose to my whole story...Saying yes to sharing His message.
The biggest seed of my faith yet,
