My kids have started school, and we were back to math homework again. As a child, I think I was sick the day they introduced the principal of "greater than/less than." I still make the alligator mouths with my hands when I think about that concept. I struggled getting it right, and I still have to think about it sometimes, which way the > or < goes.
A few mornings ago I sat down to pray, and I got tired of my own voice. I had so much to bring before the Lord, and I was going down my list and feeling the weight of what I was carrying. Over this amount of emotion and simply life that I was holding before God, He stopped my mouth and in the God way that He does with me, stopped my words. God is so kind to me, He's never harsh, but I felt I very long, spiritual pause fall over me. In that I felt God asking me this, "I know your own voice is inadequate here. There is nothing more that you could say that would make this feel as though you had the power or life in you to change any of this. Gin (that's what He calls me), you have looked to yourself for all these things, and you can't bear it anymore. What are you going to do with this?" My ears were opened to the fact that all of my list seemed great. There were so many things I was breathing out and sorting out in front of Him, and the sum of that seemed even greater. The deepest part of me longed for power and life that would be able to take that list and all that was on me and in my hands, and take care of it. I was tired of my own voice offering the same struggles day after day, prayer after prayer. God showed me I needed something greater than.
I began to rattle off to Him my list, only this time seeking to see Who He Is on this side > of the equation of my life. God is greater than my pen (writing). I am simply a clay vessel that He uses for His glory and power. God is greater than my thoughts, His thoughts are higher. He is greater than my work, He owns the fields I work in and the horizon I look at. He is greater than my heart, for He knows all things. He is greater than my vision or even my sight; nothing can be hidden from Him. He is greater than my concerns. He tells me that He is a great God because He daily bears my burdens. He is greater than my fears. He has me right where He wants me. What can anyone do to me? He is greater than the authorities over me. He is enthroned above, and He is the One that put them there. He is greater than my future. He has it planned and promises it's good. He is greater than my heart needs. All my needs are met in the riches He has in Christ. My heart needs definitely are affordable to a generous God.
As He showed me He is greater, my voice and list faded, and His Voice spoke over me. Each one of those "greater than's" is found in His Word. His Word is power and brings life. In my case, God took a little mathematical sign and allowed it to point to His infinite greatness. He spoke over every concern, fear, issue, and even win, and brought glory to Himself. He showed me where He was powerful and what life would really be if I looked to Him for that. He not only met my list and shut my mouth, but He called my heart to worship a God that thankfully, is greater than me.
Just a seed of my faith,
Ginny
